posted 12-26-2003 01:43 PM         

David Letterman’s Top 10 Signs You’ve Gone To a Bad Veterinarian
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10) When you hand him your cat, he asks uncomfortably, "Monkey?"

9) Two weeks later, your dog coughs up a rubber glove.

8) Big sign in waiting room: No Pets Allowed!

7) Diploma looks a lot like menu from Chinese restaurant.

6) Always saying "I've got a tick in my pants."

5) Sends you a card every spring: "Time for your dog's annual neutering."

4) First question, "What ails your varmint?"

3) He has a lot of posters up advertising cockfights.

2) He himself wears one of those big funnel shaped dog collars.

1) He bites!