Guilt about not staying with Cat that was Euthanized

Hello,

Thank you for letting me join this site.

We had a cat come to stay with us for a year. He was one of the most beautiful, friendliest cats I have ever met. He had lived with a family on another street and suddenly camped out at our place. We told the owners about him staying on our deck and they told us that they did not care about the cat. What a bunch of fools!! During the winter he stayed inside, however, during the spring and summer he stayed outside during the day and we did keep him in at night. Everyone who came to our house fell madly in love with this wonderful tyke.

At any rate, one day we found him in his outside house (an insulated pet carrier we had on our deck for him), where he stayed for only one night before moving in, he could not walk without falling over. He appeared to be fine hours earlier. We thought he had gotten hit by a car or something of that sort. We took him to the emergency vet and they kept him over night. They had to give him oxygen, etc. We found out the next day, after ultrasound, that he had a large blood clot in his heart and we were told the best thing we can do for the cat is to have him euthanized. He could not use his left paws. We cried our eyes out. We went to see him before the event took place. The doctor asked us if we wanted to stay and we said no. This happened 3 weeks ago and I can't get over the guilt feeling because I did not stay. I miss that cat more than you can imagine. I feel as though I let him down after all of the joy he had given us. Having this cat around was like having a jester living with you on a daily basis.

I can't get over this feeling of guilt and if I had to do it over again, I would stay with my wonderful ball of fur until the end. I am so very sorry that I did not stay with him. He brought us a year of joy!!

We do have another cat. She is wonderful. She was not pleased about having the visitor, however, she coped very well. I think she misses the adventure of having him around.

Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions on getting rid of this guilt, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for listening!

Sincerely,
Georgef

 

I'm really sorry for your loss! I, too, had to live with the guilt of not being with my beloved dog when she was euthanized. All I can say is time does make it better.

He knew you loved him.

What was the kitty's name?

 

You need to try to forgive yourself. As we grow and change, we look back on things we did or the way we were and sometimes wish we could change the way things went. But we can't, and we shouldn't blame ourselves. We did the best we could.

Your kitty knows you loved him. Reach out now with your heart and talk to him. He can hear you. Tell him how sorry you are that you didn't stay with him and ask him to forgive you.

Animals are VERY forgiving creatures. They don't hold a grudge. He knows why you couldn't stay at the time. And he is in a better place now, and free of pain and suffering.

Believe me, I know what you are going through. I had to put my 15-year-old kitty down six days ago. I did hold him at the end, but I have a lot of guilt about whether I did the right thing and about things that happened in the past. I am struggling with it as you are. The advice I keep receiving is to just let go of the guilt and doubt and let myself grieve for him.

Hang in there, and please come post again if you need to talk more. I found making a memorial to my kitty helped a little bit. My sister also lost a cat a few months ago, and she made a list of all her nicknames and the things she did and put it with photos and her things.

 

don't beat yourself up over this. The time this cat stayed with you, sounds like it was the best time of his life. He's probably forgiven you and remembering the time of love he had while in your care.
Not everyone can stay with a pet during that time. I know of many many cat people who can't do it either.
To be quite honest....it's a procedure that is over and done so quickly (in most cases) it's actually quite strange to even go through it.
I had to have my dog PTS this past fall and I did stay with her (first time for me...couldn't do it with another dog we had to have PTS). It was over so quickly - one heavy sigh from her immediately after the injection and she was gone.
THe thing you MUST remember is you did take the time to seek medical care for this injured cat, you did care enough to take care of this cat and offer him a better life.
That is what is important....

 

i agree...

Also... please don't feel guilty. i understand why you might, and it's not wrong, but it's not an emotion you should allow to plauge you for too long.

Staying with a beloved pet at the end like that is a personal choice. Some wish to remember them as they were, not how they are afterwards...or during.

As a vet tech i had to hold many animals- at the 'end'. The feeling is not something i care to replay in my memory often...

Let his limitless love, and joyous memories take away the pain. *hugs*

i hope to see many more posts from you here on Auspet, sharing with us memories and or even tales about your little furry girl you currently have gracing yor life.

 

I'm so sorry about your kitty.

I agree with the others, please, please do not feel guilty. I couldn't do it either with any of my kitties I've had to let go. It is a personal thing and there is no right or wrong.

I told my Vet the I must be one of the few people who couldn't stay with my kitty in the end and she told me I no, that I was in the majority. The majority of people can't do it.

Time will heel. Be kind to yourself.

 

I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry about your loss. Your kitty was so lucky to find people like you that loved and appreciated him. He sounded like a wonderful guy, and so do you.

Don't feel guilty about not being with him at the very end, you made the best decision that you could make at the time, and you put him in the very capable, trusted hands of a medical professional. I can understand why you would feel regretful now, but be kind to yourself; you are only human and sometimes we are frightened and unsure of the right thing to do.

What's more important than the few moments before he departed was his quality of life when he was alive, and it sounds like he had a great life that any cat would love, and he had a family that loved him very much. I hope that you will soon be able to let the guilt feelings go and focus on the good times that you had together and pat yourself on the back for being a great friend to him during the last year of his life.

When you think you are ready for it, maybe you could adopt a needy cat from a local shelter in your kitty's honor, perhaps one that isn't considered as "adoptable" as some of the others. Knowing that you probably saved his or her life could help with your feelings of guilt as you fill that cat's life with love that he probably would never have found without you. Just a thought.

My heart goes out to you and I will be giving Luna some extra attention tonight in memory of your kitty. Don't be too hard on yourself, you did the best you could under the circumstances. Life is just one big learning experience, and none of us can get anywhere near perfection without a lot of trial and error.

I hope that you hang around here, this is a great bunch of cat lovers and I think that you will fit right in. Your love for your feline friends is apparent and commendable.

 

I just had to go through this on Saturday. I have had to do this so many times through the years. It never gets easier. What I do, because I just can't / won't watch my cats die, is tell the Vet to give them the shot that just puts them under...as if for surgery, and once they are "asleep" I leave and let them do the other shot after I have gone. This costs a tad more, but for me it is worth it...I just can't bear to see them die.

 

hugs!!

just picture your cat, playing , healthy in the Summerland (heaven)
and having a great time!!

You did the right thing, you brought him to the vet, gave him a home, where he was loved and appreciated.

He knows you loved him, but just keep picturing him and eventually you'll see him.. I've seen my cats, w/ my totem animals and they're happy and well.. they even come and visit me, now and then..

Its soooooo hard, letting go!! I just had to put my 18 yr baby, to sleep, I was w/ him at the end, it was hard, but for me, worth it..

everyone has to make their own decisions and next time, if you can, maybe you'll be w/ them at the end, but no matter, he's happy now. and still loves you.. just always remember that..

keep visualizing~ meditating and I'll bet you'll see him .. happy and no it won't just be wishful thinking, but very real..