confusing behaviorial issue... please help!

we have a mix shepard/collie about 10 months old who displays some odd behavior. we got her when she was 3 months from an adoption agency and she took to us pretty well at the store. when we got home, however, she started acting very intimidated and even frightened by me but she seemed fine with my wife and kids. we thought that maybe she was just adjusting, but after about a month, nothing got better. i have tried working with her, but she is so afraid to get close to me, i don't really know what to do. when i giver her treats, i have to throw them about 10 feet away and walk away before she'll even go see what it was that i threw. when i call her, she comes to me but stops about 15 feet away and starts to circle around and get nervous before she runs off. what's really strange though is that if i sit on the couch and call her, she'll jump up with me and bury her head between my back and the cushion, but as soon as i get up, she runs off terrified. it seems to be mostly men that make her nervous, but she is not afraid of all men. any ideas or tips on how to deal with this? it's very frustrating having a dog that doesn't trust you. we've had her now for about 6-7 months and it seems like we're getting nowhere. thanks!

Marc

 

I would try to contact a behaviorist or trainer in the area. If you can't find anything I'd actually consider talking to one of those wooo woooo animal communicators...I've heard good things about them and heck it's worth a try at this point... IMO.

 

Sorry to hear that Iaihafloyd.
Do you know anything about her background? Kinda sounds like she possibly was abused by a male prior to you adopting her. It also could be a smell that she is afraid of. Dogs have an incredible sense of smell (I had a dog that was afraid of a family member he was going through puberty and once that "passed" sort of speak he wasn't skittish around him anymore), must have been a body odor. Being around her at the shelter is one thing and getting into a new environment well that's another.

You said that you have worked with her what have you tried?
Here's what I've done in the past. Now this is in no means going to happen quickly obviously, but have you put yourself and her in a bedroom with not alot for her to hide under etc.. to start with, bring toys, food/treats and just sit on her level talking to her and slowly get closer then just stay put until she settles down then move closer etc.... try to entice her with the toys, treats. Keep doing this until hopefully you can reach out and pet her. if she has too much room to get around you try a bathroom but be very gentle and soft spoken because such a small room it will be intimidating for her.
Hopefully after doing this regularly and frequently she should become more trusting of you. But remember never yell or move quickly or act threatening they remember those actions. With any animal being consistent is very important. Are you the one feeding her? That could help she will see that you give her food and treats she may start associating you in a good manor. How about taking her out on walks?

Well I hope that something helps if anything you can call your vet and see if they have any suggestions. Keep us posted on the progress.
Good luck and keep trying :y_the_best:

 

schedule makes things hard

i say i've worked with her, but really i've never known what to do. i was told to start off by throwing treats far enough to where she'll get them, then slowly throw them closer and closer until she eats out of my hand, but that didn't seem to work. i've tried getting to her level, but she doesn't seem to act any different (that's why i think it's so strange that she'll come to me on the couch only!) i try to be the only one that feeds her and takes her for walks, but with my shift schedule, it's really impossible.

i haven't thought about my smell. that's a good suggestion, but i'm not too sure what to do about it. i don't wear any cologne or anything. i appreciate the suggestions. i really hate to see this dog be so unhappy when i'm around!

 

Your smaller on the couch.... less intimidating.... your focus is on the TV or the paper or whatever but it isn't on her. Have you kept treats near the couch or tried to feed her while next to the couch (I know not a great place to feed her but....that can change).

If your schedule works that maybe you can sit by her dish when you do get to feed her and if she is food motivated she will eat with you there if she really wants to eat she will. If she will eat with you there try only putting a few kibbles in at a time so she gets used to having your hand come close to her.

The odor thing is a bit tougher.....I'm really not sure what to do about that one either..... Maybe try wearing some cologne.... Maybe if it is your "body odor" that she is picking up maybe masking it will help. (wow hope I don't offend you by that....nothing meant by it) Then you can see if it is that... then you can experiment and stop wearing it a few days and see if she backs off again. Then you know. And if it is that then you just wear the cologne and some days not then back to wearing it and maybe after time she will get used to you and being a good person.

Well hope it works I know it is tough seeing her timid towards you I'm sure it isn't easy.... :y_the_best: hang in there.

 

With the scent thing... Do you smoke? Do you hang out with any smokers before you come home at night?? I had a pit bull that didn't like men but didn't like smokers either.

She'd never been abused by men either. She was fine with my husband but any other man, no way. There was one incident where she was frightened as a puppy by a man and that pretty much did her in I guess. I didn't seek help for her as it didn't cause us too many problems, pretty much no problems but before you think your pup was abused it may just be that there's something that scared her that she associates with you. Down to the car ride home even...who put her in the car etc... Thinking in that direction could lead to some good ideas about what exactly changed in HER world that caused her to associate you with something bad or scary... I think that's probably the best way to think about this though. Since she was fine with you before then try to think about what changed between there and your home or between that time frame of her being fine with you and when she first started fearing you. It could even be something totally indirect too. Perhaps you raised your voice at the TV or a kid or driver on your way taking her home. Anything you could possibly think of that may have made her feel less safe about you and/or your presence or what may have made her feel less secure, even about her place in your pack...

With a behaviorist they are likely to be able to point out exactly what it was that was likely to cause the issues after talking with you and taking complete history about what happened exactly as you took her home etc... can't really begin to help in that way online, except to trigger a thought process. Behaviorists and trainers will be more able to help because they can see her behavior and can help discern even if it's a pack problem where she's not sure of her place in your pack or if she is associating you with bad things somehow.

Okay I'm done....sleepy and probably got a little long winded. Keep us updated and I do urge you to find a good professional trainer/behaviorist.

Sara

 

i think a trainer is in order

i just don't know the signs. i haven't thought about feeding her on the couch, that might produce something! i even tried wearing my wife's perfume to see how she reacts but that didn't work. i appreciate all of the ideas, i just wish i had more time to dedicate to her. i think that when i get a few days off i'll try to bring her to a trainer or behaviorist.

 

Good idea about the perfume.... :lol: Keep trying and hopefully things get better and do try and have a trainer/behaviorist come out (usually it is better to have them come to you so that the dog is in their own environment). Keep us informed I'm curious what they find out as her cause of feelings towards you.

 

Confusing behavior has an answer

Hello. I am so familiar with your dog problem. Dogs only have four options when they don't know what else to do: Fear, aggression, depression and/or hyper. The fear she is exhibiting is not as much a behavior as it is a symptom. Please don't be offended and my apologies to those with differing opinions, but your dog doesn't want you as a friend. She wants someone she can count on. Someone who is a can-do type. Someone who can save her life in a crisis. But to offer her food, and crouch down to appear to be on her level is anything but appearing as a leader.

Please let me respectfully offer another view of your efforts. Pretend I am your dog. I'm 10 months old (developmentally equivalent to a 12 1/2 year old little girl). I want direction. Clear and concise direction. I'm a pack animal. I am scripted in my hard drive to do exactly what leadership dictates but not because I love my leader; but because I respect my leader and trust (a word you used) my leader. But the male alpha figure in my life is crouching (cowering to me) and giving me his food (the wimp). He is completely pulling the rug out from under himself. He is certainly not acting like leadership.

For now, don't even consider the couch stuff. There is a completely logical explanation for this - according to your dog's hard drive. The answer lies in demanding and exacting obedience. Even a simple "come" command on the leash is the beginning of the end of her fearful behavior.

A few absolutes apply here: 1. Do not repeat the word "come." 2. Do not say "come" louder than a softly spoken voice. 3. Pull her to you in a steady pull and praise the socks off of her when she gets to you. Do not give her enough leash to leave you. 4. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT notice or pay attention to her body language. You are praising her for completing the command even though you did all the work. I don't care if she is flipping around, yelping, pooping or anything else! If you appear to react to any of those behaviors you have, once again, proven you are not worthy of respect and you are not leadership material. 5. Cancel "come" with a release word of your choosing. I don't allow OK because everyone says that all the time. I like "break" or "free" or "Miller time," or anything that doesn't sound like her name or a command. 6. After the release word give her the full length of the leash and start over.

After the 3rd time, instead of pulling her to you, you will tweak the leash to provide a quick little light pressure on her throat, with an instantaneous release of the pressure. You are not pulling on the leash. You will sternly say "no" with each tweak. 3 times you have done all the work. It is now time for her to use her own power to complete the command. It may take 20 tweaks before she decides to get over to you. If she stops before she gets to you, and I mean all the way to you, {first time or two} pull her the rest of the way. {Second or third time: Tweak and say "no" until she gets all the way to you}.

When she gets to you praise lavishly. That's a good girl!!! I don't care what she acts like or the expression on her face. You must not react. You must praise as though she has just saved someone's life.

I absolutely guarantee you will see a transformation in your pooch if you do exactly as I have described. I wish I could do it for you. I specialize in fear problems. And, believe me, I could describe some fear behaviors you wouldn't even believe.

I am so sad that the dog training industry has almost completely gone into the "permissive parenting" stage. Humans did this in the '50s and '60s until they realized it didn't work. The bond between human and dog is amplified beyond belief by making a clear, concise demand on a pack animal who is looking for guidance.

One last thought: If your dog has a mistrust of the human hand (from being pushed or shoved in correction or rejection - such as Cesar Millan
recommends - then don't touch her during the first few "come" commands. Praise lavishly, but don't add your hands at first. After she successfully responds start adding your hands, one at a time. She might piddle when you add your hands. This is a sure sign of hand confusion. MY RULE: Never use your hands to push, shove, hit, scruff-shake or dominance-down when you correct your dog; however, there is no limit to the use of hands for love, attention, affection and praise.

Hope you try this.