Made To Feel Guilty For Not Killing My Cat

I've read this forum for awhile but never could get up the nerve to post because I was afraid of saying it out loud. My problem that is. I just wanted to hide from it but I can't anymore.

My cat is dying, I believe. Just staring at those words makes me sick to my stomach.

I've had Rowdy for 15 glorious years. I understand that's a long time but it's just not long enough for me.

Watching him get sicker and sicker is killing me. Pumping him with appetite pills and weekly visits to the vet in which he drools and pukes in the car is killing me. Yet, I still can't seem to let him go. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I pray everyday that God will just take him if that's what he wants to do. Putting him to sleep at this point is out of the question. I can't do it. I JUST CAN'T DO IT.

Nobody seems to understand this and are making me feel like a cruel vicious human being. I'm not! I love my cat! I love my cat dearly! I've read all the quality of life stuff, I've read other's experiences. I sit at this computer night after night reading tributes and bawling my eyes out. The pain I feel is immense. HORRIBLE. I've never in my whole life experienced grief and sadness like this.

There are circumstances though that make the putting him to sleep issue a no go. One is that NOBODY knows what is wrong with him. How can I give up on him when I don't even know what's wrong? He got sick on July 4th approximately. Stopped eating, drinking. I took him to an emergency vet after a few days on a Sunday and he ran some tests and told me to take him to my regular vet. I did that. He had developed Fatty Liver. He had to be hospitalized for two weeks. The vet would call everyday and at first she kept prodding me to put him to sleep. But I held out and he got better!!! We visited him alot and took him home finally.

He never did get to eating right after that and the vet just simply doesn't know what's wrong with him. She said I could take him to a specialist but that would want to do all sorts of invasive procedures that my cat couldn't withstand. She said she narrowed it down to cancer or F.I.P but still wasn't sure. She thinks F.I.P would've killed him by now but her ultrasound machine (in which she admitted wasn't the best) showed no tumors from cancer either.

I thought he would get well after his liver cleared up but he hasn't. She said the Fatty Liver was secondary to whatever made him stop eating in the first place. He has fluid building up and has to go weekly to have it drained. On top of it all, last week... there was a substitue vet and when she drained him, IT NEVER stopped leaking. It's leaking all over the couch everywhere. I called the vet and she said that was normal(?) but I don't believe her. I don't think it's normal for fluid to be oozing out!

I also could probably never get my husband to condone putting him to sleep. We've already witnessed many miracles in this cat and I guess he's holding on for another one. The cat has been sick for 2 months now and I'm so grateful that he didn't die that first week. He thinks it's not his job or right to basically kill our beloved friend. He says it's up to God. One day, someone asked him why he didn't put the cat to sleep it was so cruel blah blah and he got so angry that he asked him why he didn't put his sister who had cancer to sleep! The guys says, "Well..it's different. That's JUST A CAT"

No! It isn't "just a cat". It's our baby. We've had him since we were married. Since we were 19 years old! We have no children. We would do anything for our cat. Killing him though, is not one of them. Why is it not ok to put a human to sleep but it is ok for an animal?

The cat still purrs and walks around. Enjoys watching the dog, eats on occasion and looks happy enough. How do I know they won't find out what's wrong with him tomorrow and be able to fix it?!

Jesus! He's going to have all of eternity to be dead. Is it SOOOO horrible that I can't ask for a few more months, days, weeks with him? NO, I don't want him suffering. NO I don't want him choking to death or suffocating or worse! NO!!! But I've never gone through this before! I have nothing to compare it to. I won't know if I did the right thing until after it's done. I just won't know. Yes, I guess supposedly I'm being selfish. Selfish for wanting to be with him until God decides to take him. But I can't help it! I CANNOT kill the cat. I understand totally why others choose what they choose, that's their own business, their own right but...

PLEASE PLEASE somebody understand! I CANNOT kill my cat!

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE somebody tell me that I'm not a terrible person. I'd rather die my own self than to kill my cat.

 

no...you are not a terrible person...i understand that kind of love, and i think alot of people on this forum do too. my otis...almost twenty... passed in march. it had just been the two of us for fifteen years of his life...the first five he was with my ex husband and i. i loved that cat more than i can put into words. i cried and cried when he died. although i had prepared myself two years in advance. i had him put to sleep after he had a grand mal seizure. but if he had been walking around purring, and interacting with me...i would have had a hard time putting him to sleep under those circumstances.

hang in there...we all love our cats deeply too. you have friends here... :wink:

lynn
max
mikey

 

You are not a terrible person. Having read your post, it's evident that you love your cat very much. I'm sorry your kitty is not well. I've never been in your situation before. It's hard to say what I would do, if I was. I think the fact that you have no clear idea as to what is wrong with your kitty, makes matters more difficult. Sometimes it's so much easier when we just know what the problem is and then deal with it from there. I wish your kitty all the best.

 

Somebody understands. At long last... someone understands. :cry:

You both have enabled me to maybe stop torturing myself for tonight and even perhaps to finally be able to get a few moments of sleep. I thank you for that.

Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of what's left of my heart.

lynnhaz, I'm so sorry about your sweet little Otis. So so very sorry. I can just imagine how much it hurts. One day I won't have to imagine, I guess. Why can't they just live forever...or even just... longer.

They say that loving them is worth the pain. The happy times, the daily joy. Worth the pain of their deaths. I know this must be true but ooohhh such pain.

Such pain.

 

I am so sorry to hear about your cat, you are not a terrible person you just love your cat

I kind of understand what your going through, my brothers cat got run over last year, she stayed at the vet for several days and my brother was with her everyday, she couldn't get up and the vet thought her spinal cord was broken and told him she needed to be put to sleep, they didn't know for sure the spinal cord was broken, it could have just been swelling and they (as well as friends and family) made him feel guilty about keeping her alive. After 5 days he let the vet put her to sleep, but even now he isn't sure that was the right thing to do, maybe she would have been OK had he left it a few days longer? we'll never know :cry:

Its totally understandable you want you baby to get through this and if you think there is a chance of that you can't just give up.

There are lots of great people on this forum to help you through whatever you decide

 

I have done the same thing.

I had a cat for 15 years and the last 6 or so years of her life she had CRF. Most of the time she was fine but every now and then she'd have to go to the vets and have fluids then she'd be right as rain for quite some time. When she turned 15 the spells got to be longer and harder on her. My husband, Mr. Sensible, kept telling me I had to think of Tami's future and what she was going through. And deep down inside I knew that she was miserable - her spells got worse and lasted longer. She wouldn't come out from under the bed. She stopped responding to me. So I agreed with my husband and told him I could do it if I got a kitten - and that's what I did. I got my Sessy. Tami perked up!!! From that October through the next May Tami never had another spell. She went through an entire winter into the following spring...maybe this is something you could consider doing.

Tami did pass - but in her sleep on my son's bed. In the comfort of her home.

Can you consider adopting a kitten in need? It's obvious you love your pets and have so much to offer another pet. It'll probably help you be able to deal with the inevitable.

 

I've been in your shoes once. I had to put Pooky down due to end stage renal failure. He was only 2 1/2. It's the hardest thing I had to do just as bad as having to bury Vene (hit by a car). I understand your feelings. You are not a bad person. You are just having a hard time letting go. I can see you love your cat very much. Lots of hugs and kisses your way! No one should tell you what's right or wrong. Your heart will let you know.

 

My heart goes out to you and your kitty

You need to do what is the right thing for yourself and your kitty. Do not let other people make you feel guilty for the decisions you have to make. When and if the time comes you will know what to do. Your kitty will let you know in his/her own way. I faced this with my darling little cocker April. She had a tumor and because of her age we decided to let her live out the rest of her life without medical intervention. The last year of her life was full of joy and happiness. Then one day she just a laid down and with her eyes told us, "I am ready now, I am tired," We knew what to do and we held her in our arms as she peacefully crossed over the rainbow bridge.
Your question about the difference between pets and humans is an interesting one, I think it might have something to do with the fact that humans can understand why they are suffering and can also understand that they might or might not get well. In most instances they have the capability of making decsions for themselves. When we take on a pet we understand that we will have to make choices for them when it comes to their quality of life. If they were in the wild, they would go off alone and lay down to die in peace. Humans interfere in this process by prolonging their lifes with drugs and surgeries, that is a good thing, but we have to know when to let go also. You will know when that time comes for your "baby" and then you will be at peace with yourself. God Bless you and your little Kitty.

 

what deb says is true. they will let you know.

the last day that otis was alive...he was sort of wobbling all day. i took him to the vet in the early am...bloodwork, xrays, thorough check. everything was "fine". but i knew something was wrong. in my heart...i knew. i didnt want to leave him. it was different from all the other times i worried about him. :?

i went to work for about four hours. came home...couldnt find him anywhere :shock: ...searched for a half an hour, terrified and panicked. that had never happened before...and i dont have a complicated or large house where he could hide different places. i finally found him behind the washer...wedged back there...sitting and staring.

that night, at 3 am...i suddenly woke, looked at him sleeping by my pillow. for some reason i picked him up. and...he had the grand mal seizure at that moment. 8-[ :-& i rushed him to the emergency vet, and knew in my heart it was time to put him to rest. i cried and cried and cried nonstop for a week. i still cry. i am crying right now like a little baby. i will always love that cat. :cry:

two weeks later i got little maxie who has brought me more laughter and joy than i can tell you. :kiss_heart: God has my back...he knew i needed to lighten up a bit. then...about five weeks ago, i got mikey. :m33: he is a wonderful companion to max and me. their pics are in the photo contest and under the topic "new pic of the m&m's."

i liked mary's suggestion. although otis would not have tolerated a kitten. he was too dependent on me. when i got max...it was very clear to me that he needed a friend. :m41: you can just tell the difference. some cats do well with other cats...some are never the same again if you add another animal to the household.

=P~ lynn

 

I was in a similar situation about 2 yrs ago with my cat Punk. It started in July as well. His face got very swollen. I took him to the vet who said he had an abcess in his tooth so it had to be removed. He had the surgery and I took him home. A few weeks later, his face was swollen again. I took him back, they said it was another abcess so they removed 2 more of his teeth. They also did a biopsy at the time and that at least said it wasn't cancer. Anyways, a few weeks later, his face was swollen again. He was also very lethargic, etc. I took him to another vet about 3 hrs away. He said the same thing, abcess, so he had another surgery. They removed the entire top side of his teeth on his left side as well as bone from his face that was infected. Awhile later, it was infected again so I took him back and they did another surgery to install a drain in his face and they did another biopsy, this time they tested for everything. It turns out he had some very rare fungal infection and I was finally able to get some specialized medication for him that cleared it up - although just that part took 5 mos before it was completely gone.

Anyways, he was very sick from July to November when we finally figured out what the problem was. When I brought him to the second vet, he said after the first surgery, I should probably put him to sleep. My mom and everyone else said the same thing. He was just so sick and all the vet bills cost ALOT but I just couldn't. At least not until I knew what was wrong. I don't want to give you any sort of false hope, but now, my cat is completely fine. He is as content as can be. I guess my point is that I understand what you are going through. He is your cat and you have to make the decision that will be best for him and you. You certainly are not a horrible person.

 

I was lucky with Fraidycat. He had cancer and had his tumor removed in early May - the drain was removed in early June but by July he had another tumor just as large as the other had been, only it had just taken a month to grow. I had taken him to the vet on Saturday night intending to help him along to Rainbow Bridge but couldn't do it because I wasn't ready. They gave him fluids enough to last until Monday and sent us both home. That gave me Saturday night and Sunday to hold him (I had never held him before that in the 5 years I had him), to kiss his face and rub his ears - he was so very content on my lap but would seem alarmed and a little scared when I cried. I told him all the things I loved about him and had my chance to say goodbye. On Monday evening when I had made the decision, my regular vet said "Karen, I'm glad you're here - when I came on shift today I looked for Fraidy's name in the book because I saw him Saturday for a minute and he just looked like he felt miserable" - she in a sense gave me that extra bit of assurance that I was doing what was right for him. I had taken many pictures of him that weekend and found them in a packet at work the other day - he really did look like he didn't feel very well. I like to think that when our furbabies pass on it's to make a home for another cat who wouldn't otherwise get one, one they know needs us. As each of my babies passes on I adopt a senior cat from the shelter - not to replace them, but to give another cat a chance at a good life, however long it may be.
I'm sure all of us here can relate to how you feel and you need not feel guilty - it's so very hard to let them go when they've become your family, your children, your very best friend. When the time is right you will know and you will do what you need to do - if that time never comes then you are leaving it in God's hands and he will make the decision for you, and there's nothing wrong with that, either. It will hurt just as much then to say goodbye to your little darling but you will know that it was meant to be that way, and you will cope, even though it won't feel that way at first. I can so relate to that love for them - it's an all-consuming amazing love.

 

Rowdy, you are not a bad person. I understand the deep love you have for your kitty. I was faced with a similar situation last year with mmy Blueyes. He was having trouble and had a blood parasite. After saving him once we had high hopes that he could recover that second time. No such luck, soon it got so bad i couldn't even look at him it was so heartbreaking. finally we decided it was time, he was telling us and it was time we listened. after he was gone and buried the peace in my heart and the peace in the house was incredible. We knew we had done the right thing. Sometimes i will still wake up and think i hear him meowing somewhere and will get up to rescue him for the scary place and realise it was only the wind. Whether it was God telling me it's ok, that i need to let him go or it really ws just the wind, i don't know. But your kitty will tell you when it's time, you'll know when it's time. right now, from what i gather, i honestly don't think she's saying it's time now. you'll know, because only the love of a mother will know, and incredibly, when it's time you'll listen, and you'll carry out her wishes. All in all, enjoy what time you have with her,and don't beat yourself up for keeping her alive, i think she still wants to be alive. Hugs and kisses are always flowing towards you and prayers are being said. Listen to your heart and kitty, don't let anyone tell you othrwise.
Luvs,
Breann

 

I'm so sorry to read about this. So many people do not understand just how much a pet can mean to somebody. Not knowing for sure what is wrong makes it about impossible to make a decision to put one down.

I have no idea what I'd do in the same situation, my 6 cats are my babies, but you are by no means a terrible person for not wanting your cat put down. Try to keep that in mind and know you are doing all you can right now.

Best of luck to you and your precious baby.

 

I appreciate the advice, the understanding and the well wishes. More than you know.

You all gave me perspective and comfort in a big way. It's so hard when you have your own family members guilting you into thinking that something's wrong with you. They just don't get it.

I can't give up just now. After reading your replies, the one thing most that sticks out is that I'll know when it's time to perhaps consider putting him to sleep. I still don't think I can ever but like I said before...I don't know what I would do if he took a dramatic turn for the worst and I had to watch him dying in pain. I believe you when you say he'll let me know somehow. Thank you for that knowledge.

Ginger, your post gave me chills and made me sad. When I read it, I connected with your brother's pain and empathized so much. That's what I'm trying to avoid. Of course, he probably did the right thing but just the feeling of doing it perhaps at the guilting of others is so sad. God, I feel for him being in that predictament.

Mary_NH, I'm glad you got to spend more time with Tami. Made me smile that she got to be able to go like that. Wish she never had to go at all though. I'm so sorry. I've been debating the whole getting another kitten thing. Every time we go to the vet, they have cats in a cage in the front for adoption. Last week, it was a kitten that looked exactly like my Rowdy. I wanted that kitten so bad. My husband said forget it. He asked me with tears in his eyes, "Do you want to go through this again?" Yesterday, they had an older cat. This cat had my Rowdy's attitude when he was younger, hence the name Rowdy. This cat was bouncing off the walls of the cage, attacking the perch thing and rolling around looking absolutely insane. I thought I'd never get another cat but I just don't know. My husband sure couldn't keep me from doing it though if I wanted one bad enough. Haha. I don't really want to get one while Rowdy's alive though....I don't know how he would feel, jealous or what. A little scared of that. Something to think about though. Thank you

vene, I'm so sorry about Pooky. It had to be killing you to put him down. And only 2 1/2. See...that's what my family keeps saying to me. "You've had Rowdy for 15 years, jeeze aren't you satisfied?" Well, no Mom..I'm not. It may help a tad to know he's reached this age and I had him for so long...but it also may make it a little more difficult because he is so ingrained into my every memory almost. On the other hand, losing one early..like you did must be devastating. Them not being able to live out their full lives.

See... here comes the tears again. I think I've cried enough tears to last me a lifetime.

deb, your experience was beautiful..the way you told it. Soothing to me. I have a cocker spaniel as well. Well, she's actually a cockapoo but hey... I'm sorry April died. See... that's what makes me think. The way you just let her live the way she wanted....without intervention. I almost want to do that with my kitty instead of pushing these pills and things on him. That's where my guilt lies. I can barely stand to do it anymore. I see your point about the question between human and animal euthanasia. I really don't know which way my cat would want it at this point. So hard for me to try to guess. I don't want to do the wrong thing. He has no voice to tell me. Ahh it's hard.

lynnhaz, your post haunts me. Poor Otis. How you were strong enough to go through that. Oh God. Yesterday, I saw kitty moving around funny and for a second, I thought he was dying in front of me. I thought of your post and almost lost my mind. It suddenly occured to me that there was no way I could ever watch him die, either naturally or in the room where they do it. I don't want to desert him ever but my God, I'm going to have to live the rest of my life with the memories of what I saw. I'm scared, lynnhaz. Scared to death. :cry:

elizavixen, So glad to hear your cat is doing well! I thought it was only my vet that had to take awhile to figure out what's wrong with them. I'm always secondguessing my vet because I just figured she would know and she doesn't. I wonder if that's a common thing?

karen_80, I'm so sorry about Fraidycat! I hear you about the tears and how your Fraidy reacted. One day last week, I sat there with my kitty and told him all about his life and how much I've always loved him. The tears just started flowing and I swear it was as if he was looking into my soul. He stared deep into my eyes as if to say, "Thank you for loving me enough to feel sorrow." But then he looked like you say Fraidy did. Scared. Scared that I hurt so much.

horse child, Thank you for what you said. Everything you said. Knowing that you could feel some sort of peace. I'm hoping that I will feel that too when it happens. Some sort of peace. At least he'll no longer be having to be medicated. I don't know if it'll be that way but I hope so. I'm sorry that Blueeyes died. I hate it for you. I feel sad. Thank you so much for the hugs and kisses and prayers. Much needed and appreciated. Thank you.

Jenn, "Not knowing for sure what is wrong makes it about impossible to make a decision to put one down." Exactly. Exactly. Yes. I keep telling myself that it could be fixed. Even the vet said Rowdy was one of the toughest old cats she'd ever seen. Thank you so much for your thoughts and well wishes. 6 cats that you have! Now that's happiness! May they live long Loooong lives.

As if this wasn't long enough already(Oh please forgive me y'all, I just realized exactly how long it was, I can't seem to stop myself from rambling) I have to tell you what happened yesterday when Rowdy went in for his weekly check and drain of fluids. Well, you see...where I take my cat... it may sound a little terrible but there is only 1 out of the three vets there that I trust. The others have over time, done little things to sway my faith in them. Don't get me wrong, they're very polite and warm.. I guess that's why I liked them in the first place. Anyway, last week my regular vet..I'll call her "Dr. Grissy" she was on vacation. I had to make an appointment with "Dr. Tibble" instead. I DID NOT FOR ANYTHING want to take the cat to Dr. Tibble that day. I don't know why...I just had this weird feeling but my husband said that I should. "She's a vet! What could she do to hurt him?!"

So guess what happend? I think Dr. Tibble did something wrong when she stuck kitty and fluid kept (and still) draining for a week out of his body. It's supposed to stop as soon as they're done. Even after I called back the same day that Dr. Tibble did it...they assured me kitty was fine. So yesterday (A week later!) the regular vet, Dr. Grissy tells me when I ask her why kitty is still leaking fluid everywhere that "THAT'S THE RISK I TAKE WHEN I LET KITTY BE DRAINED!!!!!!!!!!!" She gave me some hub bub about the fluid wanting to naturally follow the needle back out the hole (?) She assurred me that Dr. Tibble did nothing wrong.

Well guess what? Kitty is badly infected now because of the open wound she left in him and has to go back on antibiotics again!!!!!! Yep, twice a day by liquid and with the appetite pills and everything, I can't tell you how awful this is. The cat has started clamping his mouth completely shut and I don't know how we're going to get the antibiotics in him. All because of Dr. Tibble. Yeah, I knew kitty was going to probably die anyway but she didn't have to help it along.

Now Kitty has a terrible smell in his mouth and from where she poked him and he's getting worse. Much worse. Dr. Grissy tried to get me to give him shots instead of the liquid but I don't know if I can stick him. She showed me how to do it (WAY too quickly) and he didn't seem to mind the shot, but I just don't know if I can do it myself. Just another problem already added to the list. I'm trying not to feel anger at Dr. Tibble but my blood boils when I think of it. They saved kitty the first time he was in the hospital from fatty liver. Probably why I keep going there. I'm scared to start over with another vet. They could be even worse. This vet is the only one in this area that will never turn away a sick animal. They have some very good things about them. They're very caring and I know Dr. Tibble wasn't trying to hurt kitty but she did. I'll only go to Dr. Grissy from now on no matter what. I don't appreciate her trying to cover her butt about the other vet though. (It's her hospital. She's the owner)

So here I am even worse off than when I started. I asked Dr. Grissy yesterday how the fluid would ever stop draing from kitty's side, would the antibiotics help and she said, "Well...we hoooOOOpe so."

I'm telling you. I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. I dread coming home in the morning after working all night. Not because I don't want to see Rowdy but because I'll have to once again, shove those damned pills down his throat and watch him drool.

I'm wracked with guilt.

I can't take it much longer.

 

I'm sorry you are having so many problems. Maybe you should look into another vet. I know what you mean by not trusting them, etc. The first vet I went to here, I'm sure she's great. She only works on cats and has a nice office, etc. I just didn't get the results I wanted with her. When this happened I had just moved to this city so I didn't really have a regular vet yet. That is why I decided to take him to a different vet, a vet I had known for several years and trusted, even if he was 3 hrs away!. I'm just very particular about who treats my animals.

I know how overwhelming it could be. When Punk was so sick, they told me at first it may be cancer. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown too. I was just always so anxious and sick.

Keep it up with the medicine though. Punk was on a lot of meds as well. There were the antibiotics 3 x a day for weeks at a time. Then the antifungal med had to be given 2 x a day for 4 mos. He didn't like it and would shut his mouth but I got very experienced giving it to him and we got into a routine. He also had the fluid drain thing. I would have to put warm compresses on his face to loosen up the stuff so it would drain out of his face. He didn't like it but he would put up with it.

Like I said, all he needed was time. He looked pretty bad for a long time but I just kept at it and he eventually came around.

Just take one day at a time. You are doing all you can for him so just keep doing it and things will work out the way they should.

 

rowdy,
Don't be scared, don't feel guilty. You are going above and beyond the call of duty here. Many people i know would have given up a long time ago. I sincerly admire you for pulling through and keep going. your cat loves you for it, of that i'm sure. i understand that he doesn't like the pills, a shot would be much better. but again, only if you want too. he won't be able to feel it and he won't associate any certain spot in the house with taking his medicine. i'm sure once you injected him once, you would be fine. keep going, and try not to feel guilty. all those pills and vet visits can't be cheap, yet still you preserve. that's true love.

 

ITA with horse_child. You are a good, brave, loving person and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hugz to you! :love_y_t_much:

 

RoWdY...oh...God bless your soul. and, if i were a kitty...i would want you to be my mommy! :wink:

i so totally relate to your feelings. for two years otis threw up alot...maybe it was three...before he died. i swear...i panicked every time he did that...i would just get sick inside. i would carry this worry around with me...dread almost... 8-[

it was very stressful. i remember two years before he died...i was talking to a very wise friend of mine...and crying about it...afraid he was dying. i told her..."just go ahead and hospitalize me...cause i cant do this anymore".

grief is a strange thing. i think i started grieving his death two years before he actually died. i then started praying (and i hope i am not out of line...but it is my belief) to God...asking only for the strength to make it through when he passes...thats it....just the strength.

i can say i wish i didnt remember that night. but i do. i chose to not be in the same room when i made the decision to put him to sleep. O i was not going to get another cat right away. two weeks later...my brother in law wrote me a two page letter. he had lost his black lab two years ago...his name was howser...and he was fourteen or fifteen. my brother in law told me that he understood the pain and loss...that he thought i should get another kitty asap...not to replace otis, but because there are many kitties out there that need a home with someone like me that has so much love to give.

it was like i went on "auto pilot". i got on the internet...drove down to a breeder in phx....and bought max that day.

i LOVE this kitty SO much. :love_y_t_much: and i LOVE his brother mikey SO much. :kiss_heart: no kitty will ever replace otis. :m33: but i can love them as much...because i have that much love to give. i have endless love...it never ends...and that is really big...

here is a picture i took recently of max. otis's ashes are in the urn, and his picture is on the other side of max. the statue is of a girl holding a kitty....



otis will always be with us...as your little rowdy will be too...

 

I completely understand how you feel, as I have just went through this during the last 6 weeks with my Suzy. Last week I finally had to take her in since her breathing got really bad. It was the hardest thing i ever had to do in fact it took 3 tries over a week to do it. Nitro, Honey, and Suzy are our babies, we lost Honey 2 years ago and Suzy last week now there is just Nitro and he is 14. If Rowdy is able to eat and drink enough to keep his weight and strength up I wouldnt do it. Hopefully you will get your miracle and Rowdy will get better.

 

oh dear mechanix...thats alot. my thoughts and prayers are with you too.