A Cat's Bill of Rights

I am the cat and I have certain inalienable rights:

I have the right to walk over your face anytime I wish, day or night.

I have the right to observe and comment on any and all bathroom behavior. Further I have the right to be highly offended by any closed door.

I have the right to smell your shoes to determine if you have been fraternizing or cavorting or frolicking with any highly questionsble animals.

I have the right to assist in any food preparation, cooking, cleaning or eating event that may occur in the home.

I have the right to wake you at three in the morning if I find my food dish is not to my satisfaction.

I have the right to tip over any water container I deem unsuitable for consumption.

I have the right to curse at squirrels and birds that may dare to pass my windows.

I have the right to inspect any grocery items that come into the home. Further I have the right to inhabit any paper bag or cardboard box that you bring home for as long as I wish.

I have the right to nap at any time and place I darn well please, without distraction of being called or moved because YOU want to sit down, wash your hands or use your computer keyboard.

I have the right to sleep on top of any appliance that is warm.

I have the right to assist in any changing of bed linens and to chase the phantom creatures that hide beneath the sheets.

I have the right to look aloof when scolded for mistaking your toes for one of those pesky phantom creatures that hide beneath the sheets.

I have the right to kill paper towel rolls that otherwise might sneak up on you at night.

I have the right to your complete attention anytime you sit down to read or work.

And finally I have the right to be loved, petted, pampered and entertained, for, as you know, the best things in life.....purr.

And, should you err in your ways, I will graciously forgive. After all, you are only human, but I love you anyway.


Signed: The Cat

Written my Michael Ruemmler Chicken Soup for the Cat Lover's Soul

 

That is soo funny Mary!!! All of my kitties do a number of those items.....

 

They are funny and so true. :mrgreen:

 

Thank you Mary! They gave me a big laugh because they are so true.

 

LOL. Yes, I totally agree! So funny. Yet oh so true! :mrgreen:

 

Lol! So true :lol: :mrgreen: