A Little Humor to Brighten Your Day

1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

5. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

6. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

7. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

8. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

9. She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

10. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted
then used against you.

11. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

12. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

13. Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

14. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

15. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

16. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

17. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and
he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

18. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

19. Shin: A device for finding furniture.

20. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

21. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

22. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

23. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

24. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

25. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.

I can relate to #7 and I think #12 would make a great bumper sticker.

 

#23 I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. :lol:

 

Oh these two are so true!
17. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and
he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
19. Shin: A device for finding furniture.

 

LMAO!!!!!!! i loved
#2,12,13,and 25
HAHAHAHA :m31:

 

That was great. I needed something funny to kick off this dreadfull midnight I am pulling!

 

Since I work in a high school, I can actually see faces when I read each one! Thanks for the morning laugh. I've actully printed them out and will keep them by my desk for a "quick pick me up" when the stress level is too high.

 

lmao - excellent....

 

lol, they're great!