Am I doing the right thing? How do you know its time?

this is in regards to my Cat Midas, he was diagnosed in OCtober with kidney failure, the vet said there was nothing they could do and sent me home with him, my husband and I agreed if there is a next time, then its time. Until recently has has been doing pretty well, then I noticed last week he wasnt eating as much, and then the last few days he stopped eating completely which is a sign is the kidneys shutting down, I then noticed he was trying to spit out his food like he coulndt chew so I thought good he only has something wrong with his tooth.

I took him to the vet this morning, vet says his mouth is fine, his kidneys are shutting down and its probably best to put him down. I thought about it and talked to my husband and we decided to try this one last time, which means they will pump him with fluids and send him home, it could last days or for me being optomistic a few months. I think maybe I should have just said to let him go, its my husband who wants to try, and I thought it would be me. He wont go to the vet with me who could explain this illness all a lot better than I can to him. Part of me wants the Dr to call after the tests, to say NO dont do this. My husband thinks he is in no pain, I said he is starving to death how can that not be pain, he said he ate this morning though.

Soo, everyone knows its the hardest thing to do to make that choice.

part of me says and part of me says no :cry: :cry: :cry:

honeybear

 

Its always a hard decision, but when an animal stops eating, this is an indication that they are at least a little uncomfortable, and not enjoying life. I agree with you that hubby should talk to the vet himself. He may be in denial, which is understandable under the circumstances. If Midas ate this morning, it may only be short lived. Kidney disease is not painful so much as its very uncomfortable. The animal has no energy and feels sick to the stomach. At least that's how I felt when I was hospitalized for a bad kidney infection. I felt like I had the worst flu anyone could ever imagine. I'm supposing an animal in kidney failure would feel much the same. These cats are typically rail thin, with every rib showing. You're right - pumping him with fluids, etc. is only a temporary fix. This is why its important that your husband talk to the vet. He may be able to impress him with how temporary this situation really is. I think you know that "its time" but some of us may need a little more convincing. I think your husband is one of those.

 

Seacho, I had to be hospitalized with a kidney infection a few years back, had the most horrific pain, Never thought of it from that perspective

I think I know deep down, Midas life is short lived so I just called the vet and my other concern is Midas is psyco cat at the vet and they wouldnt be able to do anything, they have already started working on him so I cant turn back, I was right, they couldnt give him IV fluids only sub fluids even having him sedated he totally freaked out, they are hoping to give him some more and they already drew blood for his kidney tests

I was also in denial, I was hoping a tooth problem, get that fixed and be on our merry way, and got the worse news. I should have just taken him home, had my husband talk to the vet and then gone from there.

 

You are facing a tough decision of course and one that is so ultimately difficult to make. I believe all of the regulars here have had to make that decision. It never has been nor will it ever be easy.
With my old man Jake, his last few weeks were both special but hard. I had to help him to his feet as his back legs just didn't want to cooperate. It was not painful arthritis just a neuromuscular paralysis that got progressively worse over a two year period.
Somehow Jake made the decision for me. He did stop eating and the look in his eyes told me it was time for that long peaceful nap.
OK even now I'm having a hard time relating that story so I'll just send
my prayers to Midas, you, and your husband.

 

Did your vet give you any information on how fast his kidneys are failing? I mean, Loki has been living for five years now with chronic kidney failure, which we help with diet and by giving him a pill once a day. Was it too far gone to work with? Just from my experience wtih CRF cats, if the kidneys are really failing (as in, for the very last), its usually over in a matter of a few weeks, unles fluids or medicines are introduced. :\

 

I'm so sorry, honeybears. One of my cats has a heart problem and it is not rare for kidney problems to follow. It is my worst fear for him. At least if the heart goes, it is over quickly. Kidneys can be a long, slow decline.

The usual advice is to look for quality of life. It is REALLY hard to tell when a cat is in pain. They can even purr when they are in pain, so you can't assume that purring equals happy.

I know it's not the same thing at all, but my daughter's mouse was very sick and I medicated her for 10 months twice a day. The medication gave her a "normal" life. But in the last weeks, I could see it wasn't helping as much. When she quit eating entirely, I made the decision to let her go and brought her to the vet to be put to sleep. I cried and agonized over that decision, even though it was a mouse! But she wasn't eating or grooming and the vet said it would be a long, slow, painful death to die by starvation.

If Midas does not start eating, I think it may be time. Does he do any of the things he used to enjoy? It can be so hard with cats that aren't very active to begin with - the more active ones are a bit easier to see when their behavior changes.

It's also very hard when you and your husband don't agree. Mine very carefully gives me opinions and then supports my instincts. But for us it is different because he's not really attached to the animals.

Go with your gut. If you decide it's time to let go, be with Midas. Remember, it's not forever. He'll be waiting for you.

 

Thank you for all of your kind words,
Mockingcat, I will find out today the extent of his illness, and talk to him about medication, what pills does your cat take

I was very surprised at my husbands reaction and we talked last night and he said he needs closure and to spend some time with Midas and also let the the dogs too.

 

The Lokicat is on one "Renacare" per day, and on Science Diet K/D, a prescription diet for kitties with weak kidneys. It may help your kitty out. Let us know what you find out!

 

I had a cat survive for 6 years with CRF - can you lean to give fluids at home as needed? Many people do this for their CRF for years.
Also Tami lived on prescription food and did very well with it.
If this vet won't let you have the option to do fluids at home I'd find another vet - many many people do do this

 

If your husband needs closure then I think Midas won't mind giving it to him. If you explore the options others have suggested and nothing helps, then a day or two would probably help everyone to say goodbye. :cry:

 

well I just heard from the vet, Midas condition is guarded to poor , I am going to put him on KD food. he is eating it his other signs like potassium and phs are fine, so we will just watch him and see how he does. The alarming thing is they think he may have heartworm :cry: :cry: , a test he ran (not a heartowrm) indiciates it I feel so horrible, he said said cats rarely get it because they have the antibodies to kill the worm, but in Midas condition probably because has has had a low immune system with all his sinus problems couldnt fight it off, and that kideny problems could be secondary and is caused by heartworm.

 

I know what your going through so sorry Honeybears.

All I can really say is that Im a firm believer in quality of life, like with my Rott Babe, when she was dx'd with bone cancer, every time I 'made that decision' she'd have a good day again and I put it off...5 times altogether but then the last time I just knew in my heart....I knew by the look in her eyes.

 

DeLaUK is so right. . . every time I've had to let one of my pets go (and its been too many times in the last few years), I've "known" from the look in their eyes. If you pay close attention, its unmistakable. Its almost as if they are pleading with you, and if you listen to your heart, you will know without a doubt that its time to let go. Remember that one day in Heaven is the same as a thousand years on Earth, so they only have to wait a few seconds to see us again. If you look at it in that way, its just a bit easier to say good-bye. I wish you luck with Midas, and hope he has more quality time left with you.

 

This is why I love this board. Did you notice that you were only concerned with how long the cat (or dog) has to wait to see you again, rather than how long YOU have to wait?

I love you guys.

 

everyone is so nice here

Midas is back home and looking quite well, it was the fluids that really helped, the vet tech siad it was he$$ giving it to him, worse cat she has seen. I said yep, dont let those let those big golden eyes fool ya, he will turn on you in a second and the psyco personality pops up

 

As I mentioned in a post back a couple months ago... I am always comforted by this...

During a reading stint, on the subject of near-death experiences, I came across a chapter that discussed how 75% of people who had near death experiences, met up with their lost pets during their experience.

Sure hope it's true... Got some waitin' and some that will join them soon...