Best training for submissive/scared dogs?

Maggie tends to be submissive, or at least I think so - sometimes not. I guess I'm really not sure. She seems to be pretty submissive with me, except when it is something she really doesn't want to do - which I'll get into in a minute, and she seems submissive with Indy. She hasn't had a lot of interaction with strangers b/c she just now (as of Sat) got all of her shots. The only interactions she has had has been at the vet. When she saw the other dogs/people, she would sort of scoot up to them with her butt down, tail between her legs, real sweet/shy like and then quietly sniff them. No harm done. But there was this one lab in there Sat. who was acting like a Lab and going crazy b/c he was all excited and she did her scoot thing, but he kept sort of acting excited so she got a little upset and started barking at him and did something else - I'm not sure if she was excited too and was wiggling and sort of bit the air or if she was scared of him and was being aggressive and biting. I pulled her away b/c I didn't want any issues and she sat nicely but continued to bark at him. No growling or anything - just barking. At home she does bark when she gets excited so I don't know if it was excitement like she was trying to play with him or if she was scared of him and was going to take him on or something.

That got long - sorry. I want to start really socializing her but I'm not sure the best way to go about it. There aren't a lot of dog-friendly places. We have a dog park but the dogs are supposed to be spayed -she isn't yet b/c she is too young. I'm tempted to take her to see what she does but my luck she'd do something bad and then I'd get in all sorts of trouble. I was thinking of taking her to Petsmart or someplace like that just to see what happens. But I want her to have positive interactions with other dogs. I'm going to try to get her signed up for dog training in about 3 wks so that will be good.

Her other issue is that she is afraid of a lot of things. Like going downstairs or getting into/out of the car. We did have some breakthroughs Sat. though. She finally got brave enough to walk up the stairs (it was really funny b/c she went so slow), but then she gets up there and gets scared. And getting into a car, I have to pick her up b/c she really doesn't want to get in, that upsets her, she cowers down like I'm going to hurt her or something. she does OK while riding, but then she REFUSES to get out. I have to drag her and she puts up one heck of a fight (no biting or anything but she can really put hte brakes on). Every time. Sat. though when we got home from the vet I left the car door open and went over to Indy which just drove her nuts b/c she wanted to get out and after about 30 mins she finally got the courage to jump out...she was so proud of herself she just went nuts. When we went inside she went up the stairs and then came down them (very slowly) and that made her even more excited.

I guess my point is - what is the best way to go about dealing with her? Like...if she's afraid of something should I just make her do it? Coaxing her with cookies and treats doesn't help. She's much more sensitive than Indy is and Indy is not afraid of Anything (except vacuum cleaners).

 

I think you might find that when you get her going on the obedience classes that will/should gradually build up some confidence.
As far as getting in and out of the car, be patient with her (I have an extremely terrified dog right now and every tiny bit of progress takes time)
What Ive done to 'encourage' fearful/nervous dogs to...for example get out of a car, if the food/treat doesnt work try some exercises, not when your going anywhere, just in and out of the car, if she's inside the car put a little pressure on the leash just for a couple of seconds, then release and motivate (keep the level of motivation to what she is happy with...sometimes too much excitement on your part can scare some dogs...depends on the dog), every time she moves, even if its just a few inches closer to getting out, lots of praise, shell probably put the brakes on again, just repeat what youve done and keep doing.
The other way is to just ignore any resistance and bring her out, make it very 'matter of fact', once shes out give her lots of praise.
The key is to desensitze her, whatever she is afraid of work with her...like I said though the obedience training should help with her confidence, is it a class that shell be going to with dogs around? That would help give her more confidence around other dogs also.

 

My answer for everything these days - clicker training! It is totally positive and won't scare her. If she is afraid of the clicker, there are ways around that as well.

I got this book on amazon.com and really liked it: Help for Your Shy Dog: Turning Your Terrified Dog into a Terrific Pet, by Deborah Wood. It talks about desensitizing shy dogs. The most important thing is to go at her pace, even if that is really slow. If something is scaring her, back off to a "safe" distance and gradually move closer, using treats (or clicks and treats) to reward her for staying calm.

Do not fuss over her when she is afraid. This tells her that you are concerned, too, and only reinforces her fear. When Bonnie gets scared of something and comes to hide under my legs, I pretend I am stupid and have no idea she is scared. I have done things with her like making a point of waving the spatula at her while I am cooking or crinkling store bags at her and I pretend to not notice her shy away. At first I would do it just a little and fairly far away from her. We are to the point now where I can pretend to tap her head with the spatula and she doesn't shy away.

Mostly it just takes time.