Charllotte

I got home yesterday after noon to yapping puppies, A hyper Smokey, and the void of Charllottes anoying yip....I found her (So I thought to be sleeping) in her house. But she wasn't.

I can't even hardly type this.....

I tried and tried to wake her....but she wouldn't.
My first thought was that she had been piosoned, or heat stroke, or heart attack. SO I rushed her and Smokey into the vets office. Carol went with me. I couldn't drive....I was tooo irate and out of it.

He did a necropsy to determine the cause of death, and found no hemorages in the abdominal cavity, but what he found in her chest cavity was breath taking....She had a tumor in her left ventrical. It took up the whole thing. He said she died yesterday around 3pm. More than likely she just laid down tired, due to lack of bloodflow, and went to sleep.
I went crazy. what we found in her belly was 10 little babies.... that got me more than anything.
I'm still bawling and shaking now....

I contemplated alot of stupid stuff last night. And if it wouldn't have been for the pups calling cuz they were hungry. I don't reallly know what i would have done.

I've lost a child. and I don't know what to do....

 

:cry: Oh my, you poor thing! I am so sorry! Of course you lost a child, and you go right ahead and feel all the pain and the loss, but don't you ever think about "stupid" things sams. What would all of the dogs you have helped have done without you? And what about all the puddle puppies waiting to be picked up and dried off by you? And wouldn't the state of Texas have a turtle crisis if you were not there to move them gently off of the road? You are too important to the fur babies, reptiles, and little sisters in need to ever think about "stupid" things. Besides, you already have shown us how intelligent and caring you are so your not allowed to do "stupid"! I will be praying for all of you and sending out my love and best karma to you.

 

Oh my gosh, Sams, I am so sorry!! I don't know what to say. It was probably sudden and she wasn't in pain. And I know it doesn't help much, but at least it had nothing to do with the pregnancy so you won't have guilt over that.

Tend to those puppies and cry. That's about all you can do. We all love you and support you. Come talk if you want to. Can Granvel take off to be with you? Are you going to work?

I'm so sorry!! :cry:


Jamiya

 

I am so sorry Sam. :cry:

 

I'm at work. I couldn't sit at the house....I don't know what else to do...
Granvel is pretty upset as well. He can't be off work. Inthe oil buisness, there's just no way (unless you yourself dies)Then they might give you a break.

I'm just voided. I've got my office door shut. I think If I oopen it. I'll break apart. Smokey cried all night last night, Wouldn't eat. not even this morning.
Dr. Slaudek was soooo shocked he didn't know what to do. He said to bring Smokey back Saturday morning. I'm going to run every test possible on him. I can't take it yall.
I'm going home.

 

There have been a bunch of deaths on my other board this week - most of them heart dogs that have suddenly collapsed. I wonder if the animals know something we don't.

I think you should go steal Red. Although Smokey didn't like him, did he?

I'm sure Smokey is fine. The tumor was just a freaky thing. But my dog died very suddenly and unexpectedly last summer, so I know how you feel. It was devastating. I had horrible nightmares for weeks. I brought boxes of tissues to work and would sob quietly at my desk. The smallest disagreement with anyone and I would burst into tears. Of course, mine had a huge element of guilt so at least you are free of that.

I wish I could help somehow, but there's nothing that makes it better except time. With me, looking at new dogs helped, although I didn't want to get one right away. Making a memorial helped as well - everything was so shocking that I buried her with her collar and tags still on. So I went to the store and made her a new tag with her name and the dates she lived on it. I framed a photo and hung the tag on it. Later I planted flowers on her grave.

Some people need to stay busy, and others need to rest. If your MIL or sister could come over, maybe that would help?

Don't do anything stupid. We love you, Sams!


Jamiya

 

Sam I know what you are going through having just lost Izzy a month ago from heart related issues as well. It is so hard to deal with and so very hard to understand.
You are a kind caring person who is very much needed. How do you think the other dogs would feel if you let them down by not being there? Pets are a very important part of our lives but our human lives are so much more important. You will have to grieve and it will hurt for quite a while but eventually the pain will ease. And you will only be able to remember Charlotte and all her beauty.
You will be in my prayers and thoughts. There is a special place reserved in heaven for people like you Sam and when God calls Charlotte will be right there at the gates waiting for you. Until then you have to be strong and continue doing all the wonderful things for the animals you help as I truly believe that is part of Gods plan for you I believe each person on earth is put here for a reason.
Stay strong and know we all care about you.

 

Sam ((((BIG HUGS))))) I am so sorry to hear about Charlotte, be rest assured there was nothing you could do for her

you have those pups to worry about and Smokey really needs you now, please let us know if hter is anything we can do.

Honeybear

 

For everyone else, here is Char's dogster page so you can see what a beautiful, wonderful dog she was. I know she's having a blast at the Bridge, waiting for Sams and Smokey.

http://www.dogster.com/dog_page.php?i=25731&j=t

And for Sams:

I STOOD BY YOUR BED

I stood by your bed last night,
I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying,
You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly
As you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you,
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast,
I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times,
Your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today,
Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels,
I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today,
You tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you,
That I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house,
As you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you,
I smiled and said "It's me."

You looked so very tired,
And sank into a chair,
I tried so hard to let you know,
That I was standing there.

It's possible for me,
To be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty,
"I never went away."

You sat there very quietly,
Then smiled, I think you knew…
In the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.

The day is over…
I smile and watch you yawning,
And say, "good-night, God Bless,
I'll see you in the morning."

An when the time is right for you,
To cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you,
And we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you,
There is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out…
Then come home to be with me.

-Author Unknown



Jamiya :cry:

 

That is one of my most favorite dog poems. I cry everytime I read it.

 

Oh Sams i'm so so sorry i'm shocked i dont know what to say you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

rene

 

You have our prayers. Your Auspet family is here for you.

 

yall are so wonderful. I can't stop crying. Before I ever even click on the Auspet link on my favorites I'm bawling again......

 

You won't stop crying for a while, Sams. Been there, done that. But eventually, you will. We're here for you!


Jamiya

 

Well, my sister is going to watch the animals for a while. I got home to a message on the machine. Granvels Grandmother (my mother in laws mother) was diagnosed this morning with Lukemia(sp?) They said its caught early, and at this stage, cureable. SO added to all the other mysery and problems, we're going down there to visit and make sure everything is taken care of. We're taking Smokey, but I can't take everyone. SO 'Mana's gonna take care fo them for a few days....

 

That might just be the best thing to do now. Leave for a bit and help out his G.Mother and give yourself a little space and break.

 

I'm so incredibly sorry..... I've been out of town on vacation for a week, so haven't kept up on things. I wish there was somehting to make it easier, but time and grieving your loss is the only thing to get us through these things. You are a wonderful human being, and we are all thinking of you.

 

Sam, I am so sorry for your loss. You go right ahead and cry. It is all part of the healing process. Smokey must be so upset too. It is definately time for you to take a break. We are all here for you and care very much.

 

I hope Granvel's grandmother feels better soon. I'm glad you can take Smokey with you - I have a feeling he won't be out of your sight much in the coming weeks.


Jamiya

 

Umm, I don't know how but I ended up replying to this in a PM :?

Maybe it's the shock?

Anyhow, it's all in there Sams.
Stick with us

Nik.