How can i accept in my hearts my baby maltepoo is gone...

I have bought a maltepoo even i know less about taking care of dog. First time i saw the puppy i felt inlove with him already. I wasnt sure whether im taking care of him really good or not. Until when he was about 6 months he caught a sickness called PARVO. while at the vet i was ask if i wanted to put him to sleep or i have to pay $800 for him to get better. I could not bear to see him suffering i had him stay at the vet for 3 days to get better and he did.

Now his already 3 years old, and very spoiled. Everywhere i go including the bathroom he goes with me. I cannot leave him behind because he will cry like a small baby. Sometimes though i know its wrong i think of him as my little boy, coz sometimes he act like a human. He brings so much joy to me. I spoiled him so much. He sleep beside me in beds, he travel with me, there is not a day his not with me anyway i go. I got so attached to him and got used too of him around me now im suffering.

One day a friend came by and left the door open and my maltepoo which i called BAHBAH got out and run out the street and got hit and die in my arms. The feelings of seeing that almost lose my mind. I cried and cried , i cannot accept it. I have so much LOVE for bahbah that now i seems so lost. Everyday i cried for him, i miss him so much, things are not the same for me. I lost a child, a puppy, my joyful, a friend and is hurting me so bad i dont know how to accept it. People thinks im crazy , they say its just a dog. He is not just a dog, he was my life. Alot of times, i wake up i thought i heared him barking and all i can do is cried again. After couple of days when he was gone, i woke up at night and i thought i saw him sitting down looking at me with a smile on his face. I close my eyes i was shock and when i open my eyes again he wasnt there. Maybe i was seeing things or going crazy. Its been a month now and still nothing change. I still cried every night and wishing his still here. I ask myself why can i accept the fact MY LITTLE BAHBAH is gone...........

 

I'm very sorry for your loss. :cry:

 

Sorry to hear about your loss. It is never easy loosing a part of the family they are just like kids. You could ask anyone here and we would all say the same thing it really stinks... You did what you could for him and got him through parvo and gave him a good life. Very sorry it ended the way it did but with time you will heal. I still cry for my 15 year old cat Patches I just had to put down in Aug I helped her mom give birth to her. She was my friend, my kid, she did everything with me just like your guy.
Hang in there.