Subject: Idiots are everywhere > >IDIOTS IN SERVICE >This week, My phone went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair >people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I >asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman >asked, >"Would you like us to call you before we come?" >I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our >phones weren't working. > >IDIOTS AT WORK: >I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk >noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She >informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was >signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare >the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card >in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just >signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, >they matched. > >IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD >I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the >local >township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing >sign on our road. The reason: >"too many deer were being hit by cars" >and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. > >IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: >My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the >person behind the counter for minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but >they only had iceberg. > >IDIOT SIGHTING >I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee >asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To >which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? " He >smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." > >IDIOT SIGHTING >The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. >I >was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she >asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind >people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, >"What on earth are blind people doing driving?" > >IDIOT SIGHTING >I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself >and >for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. > >IDIOT SIGHTING >When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up >our >car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service >department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's >side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the >door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the >technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that >side."