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kids "owning" dogs

Discussion in 'Dogs - all breeds / types' started by moose, Apr 20, 2004.

  1. True_Pits

    True_Pits New Member

    I'm from the Pit Bull forum where we were discussing this. I know I was the "exception" and minority, but that still means it is possible and shouldn't mean in anyway that I shouldn't have been allowed to own the dog.

    That was me, but it wasn't what I meant. If some one can't take care of themselves then they are going to be uncapable of provided for a dog. I wasn't really thinking about what I was writing. What I meant is a child should be allowed to own a dog, I said they are the perfect exception to this because they don't have to support themselves. Not all children, parents need to use common sense and better judgement. Not give into a whining child or just buy them a pet that they think will keep the child occupied or TEACH them responsibility. In order for the child to be responsible they have to already been taught this, it does help them be more responsible, but a parent should already put this value in their child.

    Family pets are great and thats what most people have. But my dog was no family pet, otherwise I would have never had my dog my parents didn't want a family pet, no one else wanted another dog, and they didn't want to take care of it, train it, buy its feed, or pay its vet bills. So that wouldn't have been an option for me, the only thing I could do is buy my own and take care of it. My parents are serious people and wouldn't let me own a dog without taking care of it. I think most of these parents are wrong and niave to think their child is going to be interested in taking care of a pet and I also think its laziness in the parents. People are always looking for a pet to buy their kids and expect them to take care of it. And they are no better than the children, I also saw the animal precent show and can't believe these parents say its My Son's dog. The son is a minor and you are legally responsible. If the son isn't responsible then they shouldn't have a dog, if the son isn't responsible then the mom needs to step in and care for teh pet, its a living being, but if the parent is this irresponsible you can't expect much from their child.
    I took care of my dog and I would do it all over again and I'm glad for the experience and the trust that my parent put in me. My parents would never let me own anything if I didn't take care of it. I took care of my dogs and all my other pets. The first time I wasn't allowed to own a dog, I think I was 11 maybe 12. I was ready then and wanted one, but my parents decided that wouldn't be a good idea. I didn't have any means for providing for the dog, I wanted one so badly and had saved up money, BUT as my mom pointed out that isn't enough to sustain a dog and provide for everything it needs. Collars, leahs, feed bowls, food, vaccs, worming, dog house, pet taxi, spaying, dog bed, toys, treats, vet bills if it becomes ill, ect. So I wasn't allowed to get one, what kind of parent would get or let their child get a dog if they don't have means to provide for them? Most kids don't. I wasn't allowed to get my dog untill I was capable of taking full responsibility and finicially able to provide for it. That should be the absolute only way a child is able to have their OWN dog. A family pet where the parent knows the pet will/maybe their responsibility is different. Of couse they should assume this as kids don't have jobs in most cases they would at least have to provide the $$ to care for it. The only way my parents were responsible for my dog was legally because I was a minor, but they never had to be because I was responsible and very cautious, I wasn't going to do anything to jeopordize my dog ownership. Even if they would have had to be legally responsible you better believe they would have dragged my butt to court with them and I would have been the one forking out the cash for a ticket and probably had a serious talk.
  2. honeybears

    honeybears New Member

    Well said

    "Not all children, parents need to use common sense and better judgement. Not give into a whining child or just buy them a pet that they think will keep the child occupied or TEACH them responsibility. In order for the child to be responsible they have to already been taught this, it does help them be more responsible, but a parent should already put this value in their child. "

    I posted in Jan about statistics that said the something like almost 2 million pets were turned into shelters after the holidays :( that were given as gifts, maybe the kids got better toys and than the pets and lost interest real fast.

    Or how about the parents who get their children pets because they are newly divorced, hoping this will cheer them up only to have the child take no interest in the pet, and the parent really didnt want the pet in the first place, it was surprise. I had a neighbor like this, And if they didnt have their gate locked, I would have taken the dog, because to me it was borderline neglect.

  3. Shady_Babygurl

    Shady_Babygurl New Member

    Are you calling me an irresponsible parent? I am the onw who posted I clean the hamsters cages for my 5 yr old and 3 yr old and 8 yr old. How dare you tell me Im not responsbile by helping my children with their pet care. Our hamsters bite and quite hard sometimes so when it comes to handling them and taking them out to clean the cages Im not going to trust very young children to do it. They HELP as I pointed out and they do ALL the feeding and watering and giving toys and attention BUT they are STILL children. You cannot expect such small children to soley care for a pet. Parents are responsble in the end therefore it is mandatory that we help them. Children might ask for pets, want pets etc but in the end it is the PARENTS who go and get these animals usually paying for them, even if through the childrens allowances etc. No pet shop is going to sell hamsters to an 8 yr old or a 5 yr old or a 3 yr old. Parents forget that these are STILL children. Kids who play, and arent mature all the time and still forget things. Responsibility can be learned through other activities other than per ownership.

    I do not think I COP OUT when I help my children care for their pets. My son doesnt grumble about cleaning the cage, nor does he whine, but they are kids and I would much rather do it right myself than risk the chance of the kids making a mess of things. Cedar chips and wood shavings everywhere the ONE time I let my 8 yr old do it. He tried with all his little heart but the more he tried the messier things got. It doesnt take me 10 minutes to clean the cages so why not ya know. They are MY kids and I feel I am a very good parent to them. I am not irresponsible in the slightest meaning of the word. My childrens pets are their own but mother is and ALWAYS be there to help when needed. Its called BEING a good parent. Not irresponsible.

    A pet such as a dog etc that is alot harder to care for shouldnt be a CHILDS PET ONLY. I agree it should be the family pet wit the child helping care for it but a child usually cannot care for a pet such as this ALL on their own. A dog requires shots, wormings, and more love and attention than say a hamster. If you do not do these critical things early on then the pet is neglected and may end up being very hard pet to deal with. Thats when people take them to shelters etc.....My children HELP but the dogs I have are indeed MY dogs or the family dogs. I like to teach my children responsiblity but using pets to do this is NOT always the best choice for every family. I also agree that if someone is unable to care for themselvs without help then the idea of owning a pet on their own is out of the question. I get what youre saying True. Children cannot support themselves, cannot emotionally, financially, or mentally support themselves so what makes people think they can do that for a libing creature?

    "If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem"
  4. Jamiya

    Jamiya New Member

    Shady, do you have some sort of issue where you think everyone is out to get you? For pete's sake. The post I was referring to (that I was too lazy to go back and find when I posted the first time) was by Jules, describing something she did as a child:

    And I responded by saying that her mother took the easy way out by giving in and cleaning the cage herself. Now, if there were extenuating circumstances where it was discovered that the children were incapable of doing it themselves for some reason, then obviously that is different. And with my own kids, if they needed help to catch the mice or get some of the pieces of the cage apart, then of course I would help them. BUT it was up to them to come to me and ask me for that help.

    Now, I have no idea about your situation. If the pets were bought with the understanding that the kids would do what they could and you would help, then you are doing exactly what your family agreed to do. Your kids are younger than mine and are thus less capable of handling it by themselves. And if the agreement was for them to do it themselves but then it was discovered later that they could not do it, then that is different as well. Or, if you KNEW that you would rather just do it yourself rather than having them make a mess, and the pets were bought with the understanding that the kids were to feed and you would clean (for instance) then there's nothing wrong with that either! All I meant was that if a child agrees to do something within his power to do, a parent should make him stick to the agreement and be responsible.

    All I know is that I did not say anything against you or anyone else and frankly I am tired of you screaming at everyone and getting insulted every time anyone says anything. Chill.

  5. Mary_NH

    Mary_NH New Member

    I have a story about a woman who thought her kids needed a dog - she bought a black lab puppy for them. Her kids weren't toddlers - we are talking young teens here. Yeah at first everyone was thrilled with the dog and lavished attention on it.

    BTW - I heard the story at while getting a haircut - the woman who bought the dog for her kids was laughing her arse off while telling this. I wasn't quite as vocal as I am now and just sat there digging my nails into the chair to keep from slapping this idiot upside the head.

    So she goes on that one morning the dog was walking around whining - she was in a hurry to go to work, her husband was in a hurry to go to work, kids were off to school. She just told the dog to go lay down.

    That evening the dog continued to whine (now this woman was still chuckling while telling the story) she again told the dog to go lay down while she prepared dinner and everyone ate.

    Finally around 11pm that night, while the poor dog continued to pace and whine, her dim lightbulb went off in her head - that dog had NOT EATEN IN FOUR DAYS!!!!!! She assumed the kids were feeding THEIR dog and her husband was assuming she was making sure the kids were feeding THEIR DOG while no one was even making sure the dogs was eating.

    Now if I heard that story I'd be barking at her....wish I'd had the balls when I was younger. Idiot woman....what lesson was she sending her kids.
  6. Kathy74

    Kathy74 New Member

    I think, when it comes down to it, the pet should be a part of the family, wanted by everyone. I think it's very tough on parents, as every kid wants a dog, cat, hamster etc. and they can wear you down and convince you they will do everything for the pet. My nephews and niece went through a phase where they got "bored" with their dog. Thankfully, Peanut is loved by their mom and dad too, and they were able to step up and take care of Peanut! (and the phase ended when they saw how much fun mom and Peanut were having training!) I DEFINATELY think that alot of kids are capable of being the "primary caregiver" but when it comes down to it, the parents need to be "the owner" if the need arises.
  7. Jamiya

    Jamiya New Member

    My husband had hamsters (or was it guinea pigs?) when he was a child. He couldn't sleep with them running on their wheel, so he put them in the basement. And forgot about them. And apparently his parents didn't notice either.

    By the time he remembered, they were dead - starved to death, of course.

    I am totally horrified by the story. I can't believe his parents would not have noticed the cage had moved and did not check up on the little critters. I can't imagine the poor things starving to death.

    My husband's family tends to think in the "it's only a hamster" or "it's only a dog" mentality. His parents were talking once about a dog they had when they lived in Montana. They couldn't remember his name. I got the feeling they gave him away when they moved.

    I just leave the room when I can't handle it anymore.

  8. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hello when my kids were 1 and 6 i decided that we should get a dog being a single mom i figured we could get protection as well as another member of our family. I always had cats as i was growing up. Well we went to an adoption place and there was a black lab puppy he was one year old he was such a doll but HUGE like 100lbs. so we took him home he came with a spike collar and a shock collar but i would never use those. Little did i know this dog had no training what so ever he jumped all over us to the point where if I let him in the house my daughter 6 would grab my son 1 and run to her room with him and hide the baby cuz skipper would knock him down everytime and lick him to death. Well as i said i'm a single mom gone from home 12 hours a day i didnt think it was fair to bring this dog home and just leave him in the back yard i felt bad for him and i didnt have time or money to spend on class's so i put an ad in the paper to find him a good home. I interviewed tons of people but one couple skipper really liked the man said sit and he did i couldnt beleive it he never did anything i said. so they took him home and we kept in touch for about a year then lost touch. I guess should have done my homework before i brought in a big dog.

    Years later I got Nala the best dog i have ever had and it was my son's (he is 12) responsabilty to clean up the dog poop and he moans and growns and it might take him all day but he finally does it. I had gotten him an igunia for his birthday and it was in his room and he had to clean the cage, feed, water, check temp. of cage he did very well at it BUT i had to remind him of it as soon as i would say something he had already done it or went and did it then

    now he has a bird and he take total care of it but sometimes i still have to remind him.

    I also think that if kids (famileys) are going to have pets everyone in the family should help love them and care for them.

    I think it's great that I make my son help out he is learning responsability and how to care of other living things Hopefully when he grows up he wont make a mistake like i did when they were young.
  9. Shady_Babygurl

    Shady_Babygurl New Member

    You should be a bit more clearer when making statement referring to other peoples post because not too much ahead of your post I ALSO posted that my son agree to care for the animals and then I nededup cleaning the cages. It seemed like it was a jab at me. Sorry that I misunderstood but you did not state WHO you were referring to. That happens when people make post about another person on the board without naming them. I posted

    So how could I not think you were making the statment I was ireesponsbile. I am sorry that I misunderstood but be a bit cleared when making specific statement like that. I dont think anyone is out to get me. I just dont like other people telling me my opinions, or how to raise my children. I am passionate about specific things and that is one of them.

    LOL this makes me laugh. Where do people gett of saying someone has the wrong tone or is yelling at ppl. Have yaw not noticed this is a board, where you TYPE. lolol You cannot tell how one says something in a sentence. You are taking things as you see them, not always as they are said. I am sitting here calm as day not angry, not screaming at anyone. I do not get heated by anything anyone says online. It wouldnt do me any good. What would I do yell at my screen lol....SORRY for the misunderstanding lol dont get your blood presssure up over this. I was taking your post as I read it. Same as everyone else does. If you are quoting someone or making a post in regards to a specific thing please copy and paste it as to not offend someone. Thats all.....

  10. bullylove1

    bullylove1 New Member

    I agree with what true_Pits said. Responsibility should be instilled into the child BEFORE they have a pet. Whether this is something as small as cleaning your room for $2/week.

    Mary NH:
    I can't believe you were able to hold your tongue! Good self control. I don't know if I would've been able to do it. I am always telling me friends what I think about their pets/training ect. and I expect them to do the same for me. Some of the best stuff I have learned about Harley I have gotten from taking suggestions from others.

    Don't get your panties in a knot girl! ;)
    I am sure no one meant any ill will towards you. From what I have said and talked about on this board, everyone is here to help and not pass blame. I am sure no one was picking you out of a crowd of people that have done the same thing. There have been many discussions here, and one thing that's great about this board is people know when to draw the line and end an argument. No one will ever tell you how to raise your children because this is a dog forum. And the issue is not pertinent here.

    I think that is the first time you have been unruly. (Just kidding, you're great!!) I do agree with you. If the child is responsible enough to take care of some of the pet care, they shouldn't be let go of that just because they don't want to. I mean, if its their night to do the dishes, you're not gonna let that go just because they don't want to right?

    No one here is putting down anyone and their parenting skills. Just pullng apart many different posts and commentign on them. I myself am guilty of answering 2 to 3 posts at a time from different people, you just get "caught up in the moment". Eveyone on this board are very responsible and compassionate people. That's what makes this such a popular board. I would hope that no one takes everything said here personally. I have been "told" a couple of times on this forum and am happy about it. No one is perfect, and neither is their dog. This is a very good learnign experience for many people. Lets not ruin it by getting offended by posts.
  11. honeybears

    honeybears New Member

    :D :D :D :D

  12. Jules

    Jules New Member

    Well... the reason my Mum copped out was because we didn't live with her. She would do lots of stuff for us when we visited her on the weekends, such as clean the mouse cage. She had to do it all week anyway, so I guess the responsibility didn't rest on us anyway. But they were "our" mice... I mean I don't think if Mum didn't have any kids she would've gone and got pet mice, lol. Mum was always spoiling us--- made Dad look like a fascist when we went home to reality!!!
    Someone said they had dogs when they were young and were never expected to have the responsibilities of looking after them. That was like us, we had 3 dogs (all at different times) and the only thing we had to do was play with them!!! Of course we had to do other things like clean our rooms and stuff (we weren't spoilt kids) but the dogs were essentially our parents dogs. Our first dog died when I was 10. We were practically the same age too. I remember the whole family sitting in the lounge room and crying together. She really was part of the family--- she was always looking after my younger brother who had a tendancy to wander, she'd always follow him and be right by his side when my parents found him. (this happened twice.) I know this is off the topic but a cute story. Once we were camping and my brother Russ wandered off into a pine forest. I remember my parents frantically looking for him, and then Cindy appeared with Russ in tow. Another time Russ decided to walk down the street with no pants on I might add, and again Cindy was by his side. God bless her for looking after him!
    Anyway, I think it is great if kids have the opportunity to share their lives with a dog, I think it teaches compassion & love, aswell as responsibility.
  13. nern

    nern New Member

    When I was younger I had a friend who's parents would let her sisters get all kinds of pets and then no one would take care of them. They had a cocketeil that was out of food for days before it was finally given saltine crackers to satisfy its hunger...sometimes the water in the cage was green and slimy and other times there was none because it had evaporated. There were moths living in the cage too :shock: , due to lack of cleaning it I imagine. I was young at the time but I remember getting so angry everytime I would go there....thinking why is'nt the mother making sure these animals are being taken care of?? :? And why the heck does she keep allowing them to get more??? She was well aware of the situation to....I made sure of that. My comments to them did'nt seem to phase them one bit...but several times I even cleaned the cage myself and gave the poor bird fresh water. I beleive several of their pets including hamsters, mice and a guinea pig ended up dying of starvation. It just really made me sick and very, very angry! :x
  14. True_Pits

    True_Pits New Member

    Nern thats horrible. They are so irresponsible. I don't know I could deal with or be around people like that.

    I took care of my dog, I think that I was ready for it and showed detication. I proved I could care for it and showed that I really did deserve a dog. I wasn't just allowed to bring home any pets I choose! A lot of the problems are the parents in these situations, they are just as much to blame. I had to wait 2 years until I got an all the time job. I hung out with the dog people and their kids, walked to a breeders(friend) about every other day to feed, water, walk dogs, see who might be coming in heat, knew how much of which food to feed. Researched and learned by talking to others. I really wanted a dog of my very own. I had always participated in taken care of the family pets even though I never had to. I would train our family dogs, and walk them everyday. I think all this showed that I was ready and deticated enough to take care of my own dog, I jsut had to wait until I had income to provide for it. It shows that I wouldn't get bored if I was making an effort to take care of dogs that weren't even ours, because I enjoyed it just as much as I do now. I think you really have to love the dogs, that is the only thing that keeps you going. Even when you are sick you have resposibility to your animals, that I had to learn as a child. All this better prepared me for now. Taken care of dogs when you sick or have a life away from dogs is hard. but its what I've done and chosen to do with my life. When I'd spend the night at a friends I'd often bring my dogs with me (their parents concenting of course). When I was forced myself to care for them, now I know I have to do the same thing. But I still wonder how to people with large yards do it? Takes a lot of time to just feed and water 30 dogs and when you have the flu thats got to be hard!

    Before I got my dog I had other pets too and had always taken care of them, even $$ wise. But they didn't require as much as a dog and it was a much bigger responsibility. I also never received an allowance from my parents.

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