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Not Dog Related, But HYSTERICAL!!!!!

Discussion in 'Dogs - all breeds / types' started by dogangel, Jul 16, 2004.

  1. dogangel

    dogangel New Member

    ONE-POINT DARE

    1. Run one lap around the office at top speed.

    2. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle.

    3. Ignore the first five people who say good morning' to you.

    4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
    Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye.

    5. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

    6. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good !

    7. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, Sorry, I really prefer it this way.

    8. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

    9. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

    THREE-POINT DARE

    1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

    2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it.

    3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

    4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

    5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

    FIVE-POINT DARE

    1. At the beginning of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to start with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if
    you actually launch into it yourself).

    2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

    3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

    4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

    5. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: The report's on your desk, Mon. Keep this up for one hour.

    6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

    7. In your next team status meeting, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, Shut up, darn it, all of you just shut up !

    8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again !

    9. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights."

    10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, You wanna trade ?

    11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: Do you hear that ? What ? Never mind, it's gone now.

    12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, I can't talk about it.

    13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Get yourself invited to join the
    group.

    14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.

    15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

    16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

    17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and donut; smash each donut with your fist.

    18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

    19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee and move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

    And if this isn't enough..... How to keep a healthy level of insanity:

    1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

    2. Tell your children over dinner: Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.

    3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

    4. Put your trash can on your desk and label it "IN".

    5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

    6. Finish all your sentences with In accordance with the prophecy...

    7. dont use any punctuation or capitalization; <OR> ;-) Use &*=%TOO$#+@ much ???!!!!!????

    8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

    9. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

    10. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

    11. Sing along at the opera.

    12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

    13. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

    14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

    15. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

    16. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream I Won ! I Won ! 3rd time this week !!!

    17. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, Run for your lives, they're loose !

    And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....

    18. Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to
    you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this!!!!
     
  2. OneWolvesDream

    OneWolvesDream New Member

  3. Jody

    Jody New Member

    lmao - I have done a couple of those, but I'm not telling which ones, :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :eek:
     
  4. 4Dogsihave

    4Dogsihave New Member

    Oh I think we have a new game now! Thank god I work somewhere we wont get fired or commited!
     
  5. OneWolvesDream

    OneWolvesDream New Member

    lol, i need that job haha.
     
  6. nern

    nern New Member

    LMAO. :eek: That was great! I should make a print out and hang it up at work. I have a few coworkers that would probably be up for some of those challenges and it sure would make the day more interesting. :lol:
     
  7. OneWolvesDream

    OneWolvesDream New Member

    lol, yup im printing it out now to put up. lol.
     
  8. GinaH

    GinaH New Member

    Very funny! :mrgreen:
     
  9. lil96

    lil96 New Member

    That is too funny!!!! :D
     
  10. Sarge'smom

    Sarge'smom New Member

    19. Randomly switch avatars on your sister's computer....
     
  11. OneWolvesDream

    OneWolvesDream New Member

    lmao, wait, i wouldnt want to do that. Her avatar is of a bmw tire. :? lol.
     
  12. OneWolvesDream

    OneWolvesDream New Member

    a little update. i printed it out and put it up. all good comments! they all seem to love it, why wouldnt they. lol.
     
  13. Samsintentions

    Samsintentions New Member

    Sad thing is, I'd do about 98% of them!!! he he he..... Thank goodness I'm in an office where everyone would crack up laughing at them!
     

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