pet diaries and 2 more words

DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Schmackos! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre

little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other

inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless

must eat something in order to keep up my strength.



The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to

disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a

mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would

strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am

capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a

'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed

in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could

hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was

due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to

use it to my advantage.



This morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this

again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the

other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.



The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems

to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.



The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the

guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors

have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is

safe.

For now...

Cat

 

This is Artemis every morning - all the way down the stairs. Not fun when you're hugely pregnant!

 

ROFL @ The Bird Informant..What a crack up.. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

:lol: :mrgreen: OMG ROFLMAO!!! That was hilarious!!! Loved how simple the dog one was and how articulate the cat was!!!! That just about had me in tears!!

Needed that one after a hard week!!! Careful Halaroo!!!

 

lol! :mrgreen: :lol:

 

:0023: :0017: :m39: