REVISED- To the "Help Challenged"

If you open a door and invite people through... they will walk in.

If you ask, you shall receive...

If you judge others, so shall you be judged...

You reap what you sow....

The measure of a man's intelligence is in how much he admits he does not know...

and finally,

If you don't really want to know, don't ask.

Posting on a PUBLIC forum invites responses from the Public. If you feel that the "selection" of responses needs to be more intellectual or "academic".... see if MENSA has a Pet Advice Board.

 

Like the quote

 

AMEN!!!

 

A discussion board is meant to facilitate discussion. It's a great tool to get people thinking and a great way to interchange ideas.

Ideas and discussion are ceased, however, when one attacks another.

Just as in AA meeting, you would never say "shame on your for being an alcoholic," in a group discussion (even though it is on the internet) you should never say "shame on you for ignoring your dog."

People are admitting that they have a problem and you kick them when they're down. Is that going to help? You expect the person kicked to be submissive and just suck it up?

 

"People are admitting that they have a problem and you kick them when they're down. Is that going to help? You expect the person kicked to be submissive and just s**k it up?"

I am hoping that is not what sarges mom meant, and wasnt directed at any particular individual. I got it that if someone is looking for more educational/expert advice ie vet advice we are not vets and if you are you are looking for that kind of advice you are looking in the wrong place, Now if someone wants to come and participate that has that knowledge I say great!!! because we only learn from it

honeybear

 

Oh, that makes sense. I didn't see it that way.

 

Please don't confuse a disease like alcoholism with making poor choices, however unintentional they may be.

An alcoholic does not have a choice in the genes they inherit that cause them to have an addictive personality.

But pet owners do make the choice to bring a pet into their lives. If they ask for help with a situation, and the information given points to the fact that the pet needs more attention than their getting, they shouldn't become defensive when someone points that out. Instead, they should explore any and all options to correct the situation, even if that means some inconvenience and expense to them, or worst case scenario, re-homing the pet.

 

Shine, you are right that is the other problem people coming here looking for advice and when it it given, they dont like what they hear take offense. yes sometimes the responses are rude and the person shoudl be offended, but for the most part its good but they jsut dont wnat to hear it

honeybear

 

I certainly did not mean that someone should take being insulted.

The point is exactly as honeybears read it. Just seems that lately, on a lot of forums, mis-understandings are happening based on assumptions of what was intended and I just don't want that to happen here.

It is a matter of perspective on who attacks who first. Typing is a difficult medium to to "read" how someone meant something, without hearing the tone of voice or seeing the expression on someones face.

Maybe just asking what someone meant by what was said or a private e-mail to clear up any mis-understandings is what I was hoping for.

I wish I were a vet!

 

I think you have to be very careful with this. Many times the person who wrote the original post gets defensive when someone else hits a sore spot unintentionally. Sometimes the posts are read incorrectly, or things are assumed that are incorrect. For instance, if someone says, "Try taking your dog for more walks," the original poster might think that implies they don't already do that when in fact the person trying to help has no way to know if it is true or not and was simply offering a suggestion. Or say I get a dog and everything is peachy and then I lose my job and have no money for vet care. Then someone else says, "You should take your dog to the vet or you shouldn't own one and all." Then I am likely to go off the handle because I feel guilty about not being able to afford appropriate care but had no control over the situation. In this case, both parties may be wrong - the person with no money is wrong to yell at those trying to help, and the person yelling is wrong because they don't have the whole story.

Misunderstandings happen online a LOT. If everyone can keep their tempers and try to get clarification of points made and try not to lash out when it SEEMS like someone is "attacking" them, then we can all get along great.

We once had a poster come here whose dog was pregnant by accident. She got SLAMMED by people who are so tired of uninformed people doing this to their dogs. But she already KNEW she had screwed up and really needed advice on what to do. Once the initial hard feelings were talked out, everyone got along, she got help for her problem, and was a regular poster for a long time.

Also, there are many issues where we have basically agreed to disagree. We all post the best info we have and everyone has to decide what is right for themselves and their dogs.

 

Thanks Sarge'smom, for sharing the aphorisms. We can all do with a gentle reminder from time to time.

Well said Shineillusion. This ties into the importance of the poster providing background information and ensuring their posts are written clearly and concisely.


It is tiresome when people go back and edit their posts or change their user names often because they are unable to assume responsibility for what they've previously written....

Anyways, life goes on. :y_the_best:

 

Thank you Jas for recognizing that is what I intended my post to be. A "gentle reminder" to all, not to just one poster.

And, great avatar!