16 week old puppy question

I am the mother of 3 boys and the foster mother of 1 girl my oldest is very hyperactive and was diagnosed with ADHD and takes medicine to control his hyperactivity and he has had a total turn around not only at home but in school. I would just like to know if the people who commented on how to discipline a child actually have children? And if the people who commented on ADHD have ever did any sort of research on it or been around a child with ADHD? It really makes me mad to hear people try to tell someone how to raise their children. And to bash this poor woman and come short of calling her a bad parent because she asked a question?
No one is perfect and certainly not when it comes to raising children.
BTW back to the subject I also have 3 dogs and my kids love and respect our dogs but there are times that they play with the dogs to rough or get mad at the dogs for chewing on their toys and have to be disciplined for it...But that is to be expected after all they are children.
I have to say I am very surprised at some of your answers to this post some of the answers are down right insulting!

That is total crap! So do you have kids? Im assuming you do and that you have done extensive research on ADHD Right? Or wait do you just know cause you know everything? I am so mad at all the ridiculous comments being made about a subject Im sure half of you have no knowledge of!
Wow! I have been coming here reading post on here for a couple of months now, I have always felt like the people on this board were caring understanding helpful people until I read this post.
And to: Loves-da-pits: I remeber not to long ago when you joined and came on here and made a post about your dogs being unruly and chewing your house apart. You were bashed to know end and I remeber reading your replys and it was obvious you were hurt by the hateful replys and now you come on here and do the exact same thing, just a different subject. Im surprised by you the most.
http://www.auspet.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000672.html

 

I don't know why you are really surprised and pissed at some of the comments. I mean this parent wrote this and nothing more:

What would you expect me to say? I wasn't bashing, just pointing out she needed to take control of the situation....teach the child how to act. If medication is so great, then what is the problem of controlling the child around animals? She now says things so much differently. I believe what she said the 1st time. And yes, I have 4 children and I also have 8 grandchildren. So? Can't people control their own kids these days OR WHAT????? I stay with my original posts.

 

When i said wild , wild as in she runs and cant sit still , sometimes i find it hard to write things the way that you want them to sound alot harder if you were talking. My daughter isnt on any meds we are just in the begining stages of being tested. She has never hurt or done anything but run around and move to fast that scares the puppy , but now the puppy is used to her running around the house and being loud , she either chases her or just doesnt pay any attention any more.

 

Chickee... and others...

The problem is when ADHD is brought up in the first place... People struggle with this disorder their whole lives and I do mean STRUGGLE...parents struggle with kids (parents often times have it as well) and shools... Kids struggle with themselves (heartache litterally wells up in my throat at that recognition and rememberance). The subject of ADD/ADHD is really a tough topic...even more sensitive than mothers telling other mothers how to raise their kids...or me telling you my dog is better than yours... When people say that the disorder that has disrupted someone's life, or made someone's life as hard is at makes it...is BS it's pretty hard to take in stride...and it's a comment that should not have been made... The subject should not have come up...the poster should not have mentioned it... the comments were inevitable...

ADD/ADHD is a very real disorder and until you've had it or know someone who truly has it on an intimate level... commenting on it and how someone with kids that have it should be raising their children is just a slap in the face...and it's a pretty tightly wound issue... I'm not surprised at all by ANYONE's remarks here... I'm saddened by some of them...but surprised...I'm not...I've heard it plenty of times from family... "If you would just wise up."... "If you would just Listen"... "If you would just pay attention"... "If you would just remember"....

If it was easy...do you think I'd be making my own life more difficult by being "lazy"?

*tear* tough subject indeed *tear*

 

I did not say medication is so GREAT! Not all kids need it, many are misdiagnosed. And besides that the new medications now adays are not like the old medications that did drug children up. The new medicines are non habit forming and can be stopped at anytime.
I do agree children need to know how to behave with animals I think it's very important that they have respect for animals.
Chickee you being a mother and grandmother you are bound to see my point about people with OUT children giving advice on disciplining a child?
That just Irks me. I do not mean to be rude this subject has just gone so far off topic. The whole subject of how to parent and ADHD should have never been brought up.

 

Sara: You are right this subject should have never been brought up. My son is only 10 and has had to endure so much heartache over problems in school, home and even with friends because of his having ADHD So of course this is a touchy situation. My son is very bright but has serious issues concentrating and just being a normal 10 year old he has uncontrollable impulses when he is not on medication. He has however only been taking meds/Straterra for 8 months but the outcome has been great he has gone from an average student to Honor roll and he has slowly been able to control himself not only at home but in school and the outburst are few and far in between. ADHD is a REAL problem and hopefully any of you with children or who may have children in the future do not have to endure the heartaches it brings to the children/adults it affects. I understand not everyone has the same opinions and I respect that but sometimes certain opinions are better left unsaid. Thank You for your post Sara :0)

 

Thank You to who understand. I am sorry that this got so out of control i wasnt trying to blame her ADHD just was mentioning it so maybe someone would understand the situation better. Lession learned on my part about posting , be more spucific (spell ?) when posting and i will not bring up things that dont directly relate to my subject.

 

It did relate to the subject... I guess the lesson learned (we all learn it and get it repeated to us many times) is to be more specific...

Your welcome... I think most people here are great people and didn't mean to come off as awfull as they did... Just wanted to give people a bit of an understanding on why the comments were taken so personally and badly... I hope I did that...

Sara

 

I think everyone needs to calm down. This IS what happens when you don't elaborate people are going to assume. The person may be a great parent and dog owner, but from the post they sounded the opposite. I TRY to tell her to knock it off and adding ADHD made it sounds as if they CAN'T control their child b/c they have ADHD. But anyway ADD and ADHD are a little different. My father has the adult ADD also. I think I might have adult ADD too, but I've never been diagnosed. There is nothing wrong with a child who REALLY have ADHD, its when the parent doesn't think the child to be disciplined because they just can't control it, they have ADHD and thats what this post sounded like. Go back and read it. Then there are all the kids who don't have anything wrong with them but are still diagnosed and on meds, well thats what gives it all a bad name now isn't it? It may not be the parent/childs fault that so many kids or misdiagnosed with this disorder who don't have it, but it has happened so questions will always be there. We can see this in our own dogs, most are very friendly, sweet, well mannered, but people have ruined the reputation of the breed, not our fault but its been done.

Read what I said

It is very valid and not bashing anyone. Just b/c a child has adhd should they be allowed to act up and rules not be reinforced? Lots of kids on these meds don't have the disorder, thats not a good thing. One child I know, when he WAS NOT given his meds he was FINE(he was on 3 different pills) when he was given them they had a bad effect he couldn't concentrate and he would get very angry foer no reason, it was insane you would think he was psychotic! So then he was diagnosed with being bi-polor(which he doesnt have) and that was making him have raging mood swings. Another thing they tried to say previously is that he was mildy schizophrenia, thats what these doctors with degrees did, guess about every posibility, say he has anything to make the parent happy and try meds, like the one his mom finally damanded changed after seeing that it made him act a lot worse. She spoils him and always gives him his way in most cases, but his problems are real, but would be very mild. By giving him his way abuot everything and not inforcing discipline(threatening but not following through yelling) he knows he can get away with whatever he wants, while his mother says he is bi-polor or ADHD he can't really help it. Once in a blue moon she says NO, or if she isn't doing what he wants fast enough he will get upset, most of the time she will give in, or give him something else. Thats not really helping him and his problem is he's never been held accountable for anything and is the one who runs the house. So this type of stuff has tarnished the whole thing, I never said it didn't exist, ever. It is BS when some one uses it as an excuse. Really what is ADHD? Most docs really can't give you a clear cut answer, a certain treatment that works most of the time, no real way to diagnose it the methods used could easily misdiagnose some one as having ADHD. What about other problems that may be causing a child to be hyper, unable to concentrate, pay attention, listen well? Like sleep deprivation and that is only one thing out of other possibilities. I did reseach the study (not all of the kids had been diagnosed with ADHD, but a lot of them had) all they needed was a structured bed time and 10 hours of sleep and they were totally different children. Not all were said to have ADHD like I mentioned but some had, needless to say their parents realized they didn't really have it, took them off their meds, made sure they got 10 hours of sleep and the weekend bed time didn't vary more than 2 hours from the normal bed time. So yes I do believe their are misdiagnoses as I have seen it before in personal experience and have seen research on different problems that could cause a child to exhibit ADHD when they do not have this.

But really all of that is irrelevent, even if a child did have ADHD its not an excuse not to discipline. I'm not saying that the OP does this at all, I'm saying in general. They are right we don't know? So how can we not assume? And if you read the post it sounds like this could be the case, just read the statement Chickee already quoted it

A parent bought their 7 year old a pup! They try to tell the child to knock it off but she never listens(adhd). I'm not trying to bash just point it out. That is advice any parent saying their child doesn't listen is a problem (disorder or not), pointing that out could help some parents who want to listen. When your child doesn't listen they should get in trouble, sending them to their room is a good idea. They will know that since they didn't knock it off they are receiving a punishment. Now that this has been in place the next time the child behaves wildy and scares the pup an immediate bed room time should be given because they know this isn't right. They got in trouble last time for doing this after being given instructions to stop.


GinaH we are caring people on this board for the most part that is why we are responding. Caring for the welfare of a pup who may feel like they are in a hostile situation, take it from the pups point of view. Who may not grow out of this if they are continued to be put in this position. A Pit Bull like this actually needs to be worked with, not given to a any child at all, they need to be made confident, and worked with to regain their self esteem and sense of security. Otherwise they may turn into fear biters, which are never good, these often start out as shy pups and turn into adults with triggers and thats when they bite. Sometimes they just bite and the owner decides they must have just bit because they are scared and its not their fault. Then they delivery a serious bite with impact and damage. I wouldn't want that for any owners child. Or their neighbor or family members kid. Or adult for that matter. If this dog is from a breeder I would probably take it back if I didn't have the time and energy needed to work with such a pup. I would have it replaced or find a normal pup from a different breeder. because they shouldn't be like this and I have seen it develop worse into adulthood and that is without them being around a child that scares them, its because the owner is unaware that their dogs shyness and fear can lead to a potenial problem and they don't put the dog in the right type of socialization either.
We care about the child(or at least I do) it isn't in the best interest of any child (disorder or not) to grow up without a set of real boundaries and without consequences. They never learn and are psychological blue printed with the idea they don't have to really be accountable for anything. Even in the real world where they do have to be and will be, although they will continue to do and do again what isn't right and not be serious having a career or anything else. I don't know about this certain situation, but this is what usually happens. Had the poster not even mentioned ADHD my response would have been the same about controlling the child and I would have talked about the problem with the pup because it has one. The 2nd thing is the child's safety I dont want to see and hear that the dog got older and bit the child (or anyone else) and now they aren't sure what to do, their kid now has suffered a bad experience, has stitches, the dog has to be destroyed, the owners have a hard decision to make. If they don't put the dog down what will they do, make it some one else's problem, aggression caused like this is one of the hardest things to ever get out of a dog and this dog wasn't right from the start. If they make the right choice to put the dog down it can still be heartbreaking because they have raised it so far and the child could even be attached, confused, feel like it is their fault, even if they are really scared of this dog now they may see it as the dog bit them and now has to be "leave" because of them. All these things are very real, thats what I had in mind, thinking of the total outcome of possibilities. What usually happens in these circumstances and what I wouldn't want to see happen to parent, child or dog.

If you can't handle the added responsibility of a pup like this it may be the best thing to take it back to the breeder to re-evaluate it, work with it or find it a home where this can be done.
if you can't make your child mind thats a totally different subject and won't even include that then. Just the dog in general, it has needs even if you had no kids at all, the pup needs help and work for its behavior and fear. Please think about the decisions and the outcomes they will bring. I don't know you, if you are capable of not putting the dog in fearful situations and putting the time in to work with it keep it or if you can't and don't have time give it back.

 

True Pits:
While I do find you a very knowledgeable dog person and I respect your opinion. I have to totally disagree with you on the matter of sending a child to their room when you feel they are misbehaving, In my house sending my child to his room is not a punishment. In this day and age kids rooms are a virtual play land with Tv's,Vcr's,Playstation, Nintenedo,Stereo's,toys galore I hardly find sending them to their rooms a punishment.
I do agree using ADHD as an excuse for a childs bad actions is totally unacceptable. And you are right ADHD and ADD are not the same they have similarities. And there are many test a physcian/neurologist can do to determine/diagnose ADHD.
You never said if you were a parent? I am assuming you are because to me, a person giving advice on the rearing of children who is NOT a parent would not try and give advice with out the every day life experiences of being a parent. That is like a man trying to tell a woman how it feels to have a baby, without the experience you have no idea!

 

I agree about the room situation, but it is still a punishment. When sent to their room they are not allowed to play with what's in their room. They are in punishment, sending them to sit or lay in bed is probably better. I wouldn't suggest sending them for long periods of time either. As a punishment it needs to lack fun of course. On the other hand if its just a child wanting to be hyper and play around I would ask them to go do that in their room, they could play playstation, xbox, read whatever they want. if its a true punishment then this wouldn't work, sometimes kids are slick when I was a kid I was caught playing cards IN MY BED. And my brother would always be reading a book, did the same thing when he was supposed to go to bed for the night. Sure nothing is 100% but you must try your best to be a good parent, its a big responsibility more than owning a dog.


No I am not a parent, maybe some day but my lifestyle is much too busy to be able to take care of a baby. It is nothing like that. People who have not experienced something themselves can still give good advice on what to do. Sometimes it just may not be accurate. If I have read books on fixing cars, watched several people fix the same mechanical problem I can probably give good and close to accurate info on how to fix that problem. If a child isn't listening and acting wild their are many options of how to deal with it. Each child is different and sometimes what works for one doesn't for another, and parents may have different parenting styles and punishments vary. I know what happened to me when i didn't listen, many of my friends have kids, sure they make mistakes no parent is perfect they either learn from them or their kids have gotten worse not better sometimes the parent doesn't realize what they are doing wrong, maybe I will be in that situation but thats why I'd like some one to point it out. I'd probably be hurt at first, its an insult to me being a parent but I'm sure I'd think about it later and realize they were trying to help and try it. I think parenting can never be done one way, I find contradictory writings, I've studied psychology which can make a world of difference in parenting and your outlook on it. Psychology really interest me in general, but what some parents, most, dont realize is the actual impact they are really making on their kids with a lot of the things they do and the way they parent. With the childs birth order and with situations that have happened that the child can't even remember. It all effects them unconsciously. I can't say 100% and I would never step where I thought I couldn't answer. Do you think my suggestion is wrong, if a child isn't listening to be sent to their room/bed. Maybe a time out on the couch would be good for some. The parent is to use their own descrition, I'm saying a punishment should be applied it doesn't have to absolutly be senting them to their room. What would you suggest? In this situation I think part of the problem is the daughter and she must be removed from the situation when she is acting the a manner that frightens the pup. It is also the fact that the parent tries to make her stop but she never listens, you need a punishment when the child doesn't listen. Thats a different subject, right now its concentrating on not allowing the child to scare the pup. Some might suggest just keeping them apart so it doesn't happen, but thats not going to help. The pup needs worked on and it also needs to be around the girl if its going to grow up with her and needs to be around kids and socialized to them.

Here is a quick one
What would you do here. I'm just looking as to what some others may do, this is an open question as their are different and better ways to do things.
You have a child who seems to be having trouble staying on task. They keep dropping their pencil, getting up, moving in their seat, doodling on their page. I'm sure that some might want to put him on meds right away? He needs a structure, he needs to be reminded. If he were in a normal school setting he would be called disruptive and said to have some type of disorder that would require meds. Just keeping on him is enough and actually working through the work with him, not saying here just do it. He also likes to drop pencils, but there is 20 pencils sitting by him so he can't use that as an excuse not to do his work. If he is left unattended he will get up, threatening doesn't work, he doesn't care if he is in trouble. The only way for him to do the work is for you to be right there. He does it very well then, gets a little distracted but you can keep him on pace. The child can't be allowed to get away with it, different things have to be tried, it is almost an experiment in some cases. It worked, I may not be a parent but I see a need for people to be more aware of what they are doing. I wasn't trying the bash, it was just the way it was written, it really shocked me the first time I read it. it doesnt matter the case to me. Anyone with common sense can see letting a child get away with things or having some excuse as to why they are allowed to act that way isn't a good way to parent. Some may disagree with me, but thats how I feel. In the case above if you take out adhd it is still just as bad, just not using an excuse. Really what is a first time parent? No experience of raising a child before, but uses common sense, adopts some of the way they were raised, read up on babies, have interacted with and in some cases baby sat or even cared for other kids. Talk to other parents they think are doing a good job. i think being a parent is a serious thing and parenting shouldn't be taken lightly. The same kid who is supposed to have all these problems his siblings are in bad trouble they are older, but none of them were ever disciplined the father wouldn't allow it and said kids will be kids, they are just growing up and learning and things like that. Learning what that they can get away with things when it won't work like that in the real work, in a job. They have no goals for their lives and have been in real trouble but never learn from that. These are not the only people I personally know with this problem. I have seen from young kid to teen-young adult happen like this.

 

Gina: I wasn't trying to disrespect anyone's problems. I'm no expert on ADHD. My opinion is that it's over diagnosed when in fact kids are just being kids. I think the best therapy for hyper-active kids ARE to get them a pet more so than medication. I went back and read the grlsroc's post and she never said anything about any physical abuse by her daughter toward the pup. I've said all along that they need to create activities for the daughter and the pup. I have two Grand Kids (a 7yr and a 10 yr) who can be total terrors. They got their Pit when it was just 4 wks old. The pup was shy and scared of all the activity. But as he's grown, the Pit is a big kid himself. All the kids in their neighborhood love the dog and he loves them back. The kids are delegated responsibilities as far as taking care of the dog. As far as ADHD, they said my 7 yr old Grandson has it, and I informed my daughter he didn't need meds, just a spanking. To me an active kid is a healthy kid. Grlsroc, I'm sorry If offended you. That wasn't my intent. I don't think you have any problems with your daughter and your new pup. Just give some thought into the ADHD thing. Love, guideance, and disipline is the only medication a normal 7yr old need. And, oh yeah, a dog. http://pic1.picturetrail.com/VOL126/202 ... 939476.jpg

 

The puppy was not bought for her it is my dog , and like i said things are better here now that we have things under control. I am sorry i ever started this. If you read back i said she wasnt on any meds. She goes to Kwon Do 2 times a week and she has lots of stuff that is her job with the dogs. She rides her dirt bike and we keep her as busy as we can so she isnt running in the house.
http://www.picturetrail.com/pitbull_kisses

 

Don't be sorry! You had a normal concern. I think you should post some pictures of your gang. I bet they're adorable!

 

Please dont be sorry, I'm glad things are better now. The whole Tae Kwon Do its funny that this was mentioned. The chiild who can't concentrate on doing school work was also in Tae Kwon Do, got in trouble for not paying attention often and being distracted, but he was really good at it. I think its something good for all kids and I'm glad to hear you don't use meds. It can be hard, I know it must be hard on the kids. Teachers say he is so bright and imaginitive, but that he needs to work on being a better student and paying more attention and work on remembering things.
I think the dog can be a positive thing and he loves them. He has learned about responsibility just by knowing what it takes to handle a dog in the ring. Pit Bulls are not like the other breeds out there so they need even more, so it really teaches the child. I'm sorry you got this dog who had a special need which can make a big difference. Otherwise they shouldn't be bothered by a wild child. I was saying as it was that needed to be addressed first, the dog being scared. I was in no way trying to bash you and I'm sorry if feelings got hurt over it. This really is a good forum one of the best ones for all topics.

 

Thanks for the pics. Your daughter is beautiful!!!! And you have really cool dogs. Is that your R.V. under water? BUMMER!! P.S. I hope you don't leave. I like having you here.

 

I wasn't going to comment on everyone's rude replies to this girl, and thanks to other caring forum members, I don't have to now. However, I would like to say this - instead of everyone assuming what a person means, why don't you ask them to clarify certain points. One thing I have never liked about this board is that there are so many people on here who are too quick to judge. True_Pits, you're one of them. When I first signed up and started posting to the board, you almost scared me away. (Not picking on you...sorry) Only reason I stuck around is because I saw that everyone's bashing and judging was only out of true concern for the dog(s) involved. Being concerned about someone's animal is fine, but when people don't recognize that this is why you are being so harsh they are apt to leave. And for those out there who need the most guidance (ironically, the ones who get bashed the worst) - where will they get advice about the APBT once they have left here. Perhaps they will continue to get "facts" from Animal Planet and the local news. Anyway - next time you are uncertain about any details in a person's post, ask them. You tell people that they need to be more specific, but when a person is describing their own situation, it can be very easy to either forget to include certain details, to take them for granted, or simply not realize that those certain details may be related to their problem. Basically - give people a break! Most people who come on here to ask questions wouldn't ask if they didn't care. It is not their fault that they are ignorant. And with some of the responses people give on here, the general public will probably stay ignorant - simply because they won't take the time to see through all the harsh words to the person behind them who only cares about the APBTs well-being. We don't want to scare people away. Try to keep this in mind next time you get up-in-arms over someone's question.

 

That is a CUTE, CUTE pup!!! What bloodlines is she? I know some one with a similarly marked pup a bit bigger than that. She's pretty.

 

The list of blood lines that the breeder gave me were........Eli , Colby , Homer , Red Boy . I am not sure about how they do all the bloodline stuff. I have her papers to send in but i havent decided on her reg. name yet . Her call name is "Babe"

 

Goodness - she looks so tiny. What does she weigh? And do you know how big her parents were? Well anyway - she is a beautiful dog. Glad to know she is adapting well to her home enviroment.