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A funny FWD I recieved........

Discussion in 'General Topics & Support Issues' started by Chessmind, Jul 16, 2007.

  1. Chessmind

    Chessmind New Member

    SOCIALISM
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have 2 cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You give one to your neighbour.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>COMMUNISM
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have 2 cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>The State takes both and gives you some milk.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>FASCISM
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have 2 cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>The State takes both and sells you some milk.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>NAZISM
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have 2 cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>The State takes both and shoots you.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>BUREAUCRATISM
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have 2 cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws
    >>> >>the
    >>> >>milk away.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have two cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You sell one and buy a bull.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You sell them and retire on the income.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have two cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped
    >>> >>dead.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have two cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
    >>> >>letters of
    >>> >>credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
    >>> >>debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get
    >>> >>all
    >>> >>four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary
    >>> >>to a
    >>> >>Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder
    >>> >>who
    >>> >>sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
    >>> >>on
    >>> >>one more.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
    >>> >>leaving
    >>> >>you with nine cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>No balance sheet provided with the release.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>The public then buys your bull.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>A FRENCH CORPORATION
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have two cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you
    >>> >>want
    >>> >>three cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have two cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
    >>> >>and
    >>> >>produce twenty times the milk.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
    >>> >>market
    >>> >>it worldwide.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>A GERMAN CORPORATION
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have two cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
    >>> >>and
    >>> >>milk themselves.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You decide to have lunch.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have two cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You count them and learn you have five cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>A SWISS CORPORATION
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You charge the owners for storing them.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>A CHINESE CORPORATION
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have two cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have 300 people milking them.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
    >>> >>productivity.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have two cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You worship them.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>A BRITISH CORPORATION
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You have two cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>Both are mad.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>
    >>> >>AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    >>> >>
    >>> >>Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You tell them that you have none.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh1t out of you and invade
    >>> >>your
    >>> >>country.
    >>> >>
    >>> >>You still have no cows, but at least now you are a Democracy.
    >>> >>
     
  2. Auspetian

    Auspetian Administrator Staff Member

    :lol: :m39:

    Thanks Chessmind. That was hilarious.
     

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