Charllotte

Poor Pinky. It just breaks your heart all over again.

 

I recently heard that to help the other dog understand the grieving process is to have the dog who passed on lie in wait for awhile in front of the other dog. this lets the dog sniff and get to understand what has happened and helps them deal with the passing on of their buddy


honeybear

 

I think you're right, honeybears.... although that sometimes is tough to do. But animals sometimes need to physically see, smell, touch something to understand what is happening. When a companion is just suddenly gone, I don't think they understand for sure what has happened. But I think they understand when something is physically dead if they can see it for themselves. But.... I still think they will mourn it loss, and that will still take some time.

 

See Smokey was in the pen with Char when she died. He was probably in there with her like that for about an hour in a half. I imediately though poison, but rationally thinking led me to realize Smokey would have been too, then I thought OH god they got into a fight and he killed her, but I couldnt find a puncture wound on her or a bite mark. Plus, she wouldn't have been laying like she was sleeping.

The autopsy reveiled no bruises or abrasions. But the heart told all.

LIke I told Jami, I think he's just going to have to go through it. He'll realize she's gone. Hell I still expect her to come bounding out of the kennl at the end of the day and run around me, yiping and raising hell... time will heal.

Granvel suggested finding another female. I told him "NO!" I don't think I could stomache that right now, I don't want anything else to get attached to!

 

Oh Sam... that story of Smokey putting the chicken by Charlotte's bowl BRRRRROKE MY HEART!! It's sooooo hard when Dogs grieve... cuz you just can't sit him down and have that talk with him.

He really needs to eat, the poor thing....

 

I sent you an e-mail, Sams.

I read a book by an animal communicator once. Corny, I know. But I was curious!

She was saying that dogs don't always know when they have died. She had a story of trying to find a lost dog. She could connect with him, but she claims dogs go into a survival mode when they are lost. Even ones that have been with a family their whole lives revert to basic survival which is why they will sometimes hide and not respond to their owners' calls.

Well, she could communicate with this lost dog, but she couldn't get a clear picture of where he was or convince him to go home. Then she felt a change one day and he said he was free and on his way home. It turns out that a family had found him and brought him to the vet, but they didn't think he would make it and they put him to sleep. Free of his body, he went home to his humans - of course, that wasn't quite what they were hoping for. And the dog did not really differentiate between being alive and dead.

So if one believes in this stuff, it could be that Char was still there with Smokey in the house and he didn't notice the difference. Who knows. Stranger things have happened.

Smokey will heal with time, as will you. At least you know you have people who understand and care! I wish I had known about this place before my dog died last summer. My sister and my father were the only ones that really understood, although my husband tried. He did all the "right" things, but I know he couldn't fathom my reaction. And everyone keeps telling me not to feel guilty, but I always will.

Is it easier or harder to put the bowls and beds away? I'm not sure which I would choose. I think I would have to leave them out for a while.

 

I have not put Izzy's things away. I just can't bring myself to do it. Not only for my sake but Pinky's I know it may sound crazy but I think she gets comfort from Izzy's things being there. It's like she knows Izzy is gone but yet she's still there. The other day I was in my office working and I kept seeing Pinky going back and forth from the dog room to the living room and when I went to check and see whet she was up to I saw that she had moved Izzy's blanket and her pink bunny and two of her own favorite toys from the dog room to Izzy's bed in the living the room. It was so odd. I watched her without disturbing her and when she was done moving everything she went and just layed down beside them all very contently.
My husband says I should wash Izzy's bed so that I can get her smell out of it and maybe Pinky won't be so disturbed. But I just can't.

 

I had to tell people that Nala passed because everyone knew she was sick and they knew i droped her off before i came to work plus I called the vet every hour to see how she was. Then when i went to pick her up and got the bad news i left there and stoped at the pay phone and told a girl at work what happened and told her to tell everyone here not to say anything to me the next day cuz i would cry. Next day well i already told you what everyone said

I cant get away with not saying anything i guess the expressions on my face give me away they always know when something is wrong with me. When my cat sassy died i walked in my office (after the vet) no one knew i was taking her there and everyone was saying are you ok is something wrong. I guess i just dont hide it well

 

:cry: Oh, Sams, I am so sorry for you and Charlotte!!!! And for Smokey too!!!
Just hang in there, and think how many other little babies still need you and your loving help!!!

I know how you feel, many moons ago, my first German Shepherd died in my arms. It's devastating, but the pain will fade in time.

My prayers are with you and Smokey (and maybe Granvel too).

It may sound stupid, but I do believe everything happens for a reason. We may not understand it, and we may not like it at the time, but God sure knows what to do and when to do it. Maybe He called Charlotte earlier to be by His side, just to help some other baby find his/her way to you. I guess you'll find out in time....

((((((((HUGS)))))))))

 

This is such a tragic thing. It amazes me how entwined I am with my dogs. I will be totally devistated when that day comes. So we all understand how sad you are. Our pets are just so accepting of us humans that it is only right that we fall so deeply for them. Has Smokey started to eat yet? My son has a heart mur mur, it is in the lower left ventrical. Its such a scarey thing when they tell you anything is wrong with the heart. But like you said the heart told all. On the flipside, Just like yours, you are such an awesome person to do all you do for these orphaned dogs. We love you for it.

 

Thanks you guys! The last of the puppy stuff came in Yesterday afternoon....it was all the NuVet samples I had ordered. I always ordered 10, so it broke me down again yesterday when I counted the little sample bags....

But on a good note! Smokey is doing much better. He goes to the vet again this Saturday to get his heart worm meds, and wormed. He didn't worm him last time, said too much meds at one time could counter act each other and make him sick.

He's eating again. But not like he should. He's lost a good 5-6 lbs. You can see his ribs, and overall just tell he's lost a good deal. SO I've been treating him extra special.

My motherinlaw "aquired" a new dog. A spayed heeler female. (GO FIGURE!) and she's been staying in the pen with Smokey. He's a bit excited by his new friend, but can't figure out why he can't "PLAY" with her....he's got sex on the brain...typical male!!!


But thank yall for your loving support! It kills me everyday to look out and see that spot of fresh dirt....I planted a rosebush right at the head of her grave. Her little head stone hasn't arrived yet....wondering when thats going to happen...

 

Sams,
Hope Smokey is doing better now. Well, no matter what I say, you would still feel the grief of losing her. But, she's still alive in your memory...right?

 

Oh Sams, I am so sorry to hear about Char, my heart goes out to you and Granvell. You are both in my thoughts. :cry: