choosing the final arrangements

I'm so tired of crying. It's never going to get better. He's gone. :cry:

 

Cry all you want Jami. In your own time, you'll be finished mourning and ready to start living again.

Right now - it's your time to cry. I'ts alright - go ahead. Mourn your loss.

My prayers are with you.

 

A Pet's Request

If it should be that I grow weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.
You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.
We've had so many happy years .
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so,
The time has come, so let me go.
Take me where my needs they'll tend,
And please stay with me until the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Please do not grieve - it must be you.
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years,
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

~ Author Unknown ~

 

T"he kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Please do not grieve - it must be you.
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years,
Don't let your heart hold back its tears."

this says it all, its okay to cry and let it out. Take care

honeybear

 

Hi Jamiya just let it all out this is now your time to grieve. My prayers and thoughts are with you, I hope you dont mind but i found these poems and thought i would post them...


I'm Still Here

Friend, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.

I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.

When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace!

Author Unknown



Poem For Cats

And God asked the feline spirit
Are you ready to come home?
Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
And, as a cat, you know I am most able
To decide anything for myself.

Are you coming then? asked God.
Soon, replied the whiskered angel
But I must come slowly
For my human friends are troubled
For you see, they need me, quite certainly.

But don't they understand? asked God
That you'll never leave them?
That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed?
It just is....forever and ever and ever.

Eventually they will understand,
Replied the glorious cat
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am....forever and ever and ever.

Author Unknown


Mike

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. The poems are lovely...sad and true.

 

I'm very sorry Jamiya.

When we lost Chester (20 year old cat) and Lizzy (17 year old cat), we built them really nice boxes to be burried in. We did Chester's a few days before he died and Lizzy's after getting back from having her euthanized (she had cancer and a tumor engulfed most of her face in a matter of days so we didn't have time to build it before hand). We also put some toys and a few photos in ziploc bags with them and Lizzy got the bathroom rug because she loved laying on it. I think taking the time to build the boxes really helped us accept that they were going/gone.



We also planted a suitable plant on each of their graves. Chester got a deep red rose (He was beautful, but could also be mean/cranky & knew how to use his claws) and Lizzy got some silver mound (nice & soft and wouldn't hurt a thing). They're burried next to eachother by the back corner of the house. We haven't started landscaping the area yet, but it will eventually be a patio with our grill so we'll be hanging out there fairly often.

When Scout (6 month old cat) died, it was January and the ground was frozen so we just let the vet deal with her body, but we did plant some lambs ear for her (very soft and sweet).

And when Ten (1 year old cat) died, we burried her in her toy box filled with her favorite toys. It was just a crappy cardboard box, but she chose it for her toys. And once when we tried to replace with a nicer looing basket, she threw a fit so we had to keep the dingy cardboard box. For her, we planted a dappled willow (pretty & kind of patchy looking). She's burried next to one of the waterfalls on our goldfish pond (another place we hang out a lot) and Scout's lambs ear is around her willow.

When Trixy (15 year old basset hound mix) dies, she's going to be a bit too big to burry so I'm going to have her creamated and sprinkle her remains around the yard. She's going to get a plant too, but I haven't decided what it will be yet.

With the exception of Scout, we let the other cats see the ones that had passed so they would know what was going on. While we were digging Ten's grave, we left her in her cardboard box in the living room. When I went in to get her, I found Romeo (one of our other cats and her best friend) trying to curl up in the box with her. It's been about a month since then and he's still a bit depressed, but he's starting to come out of it a little.

-Chelle

 

I honestly feel that to spare our pets pain and suffering is our last and BEST gift that we can ever give them.

When my Dad died from cancer, he begged me to help him end his life with some dignity and to spare him from his suffering. How I wish that I could have done that for him.

Our pets are so fortunate that we are able to provide this for them. We mourn for not having their presence with us on Earth, but the truth of the matter is, to end our beloved pets pain on Earth, enables them the joy of everlasting life free of pain and suffering.

 

"I honestly feel that to spare our pets pain and suffering is our last and BEST gift that we can ever give them.


Sharon, thank you for saying this, these are perfect words. I brought this up Tuseday because my bookclub read Marley and Me and I brought up about what everyone thought didnt the family let Marley suffer too long as I have been struggling over my own thoughts of did I let Midas go too soon

honeybear

 

This is it exactly. When the vet came to my house, we could no longer feel the giant tumor. Was it gone? Where did it go? Maybe the homeopathy I had been using was helping and Patches would have recovered if I had let him go longer.

It's eating me up. I can't stop thinking about all the things I did wrong over the years. The lack of attention for the cats when my kids were small. Adopting Nala, who chased Patches.

But he was so skinny, and not eating for weeks, and barely moving around. I used two communicators, who both said he was ready to go and wanted help. But what if they always say that to people who call wanting to know if it is time? What if they can't really talk to him?

Honeybears, does it ever stop hurting?

 

Our pain of indecision will eventually pass. What it all comes down to, were we able to provide our pet with being released from suffering and pain with dignity?

With all my dealings with animals over the years, I've come to see that they communicate to us more through their eyes. They can relay when they're happy, when they're sad, when they're afraid. All of their emotions are seen through their eyes. When their time comes to pass from this life to the next, they express this need to us the only way they know how, through the eyes of their souls.

An animal's earthly body will betray them just like a human's. It will acquire disease, illness, and abnormalities. A pet will look to their beloved human parent to aide them in ending what makes them suffer.

It's nothing to feel guilt about or to speculate about, that what we did was right. It's for us to rejoice in the happiness that we brought to one small creature from the very beginning ,to the very end.

 

Jimiya, yes it does get better with time. and you wil remember the happy times not the sad.

Sharon, yes, its those eyes, thats what really made my decision, even though I didnt know if it was time.. Midas eyes, they way he looked at me like please let me go. He was looking right thru me, I can still see that look he gave me. so deep and penetrating.

 

I didn't see that. But Patches was doing nothing but lying on the couch for about two weeks. He wasn't eating. He was skin and bones. He was starting to get weak and losing his balance. He barely drank any water. He was such a dignified cat - I didn't think he'd want to live like that.

The terrible thing is, I know I am going to have to go through this again. Tesla is in kidney failure and although she is doing well now, there are a lot of ups and downs with this disease. At some point, she will go downhill and I will have to make a decision.