I HAVE WONDERFUL PICS OF KITTIES IN MY PAST...

I was sitting here thinking of my Rowdy again when I think I figured out how we can even deal with such grief sometimes. We compartmentalize it. We have all these locked up compartments of grief, tears, hurt. Mostly, we keep the locks on those compartments and live more in the open happy compartments. New kitties, happy days, moments of love with them.

Then sometimes we find ourselves in the middle of the night, like I am now, turning the key to the locks that hold our sorrow if for nothing more than we just can't help ourselves, or simply to keep our long lost babies close to us in the only way that we can. Then like I am now or like some of you were thinking of your own precious kitties that are no longer living, we find ourselves completely engulfed in the pain all over again. The sadness rears it's ugly head once more and we cry. Deep painful feelings of loss.

We hurt and then we lock the compartment back up and try not to dwell on it until the next time. We put on our happy faces and hug the furbabies that we have left. We smile and play and love them. We get by this way because we have to. It's the only way we can live with the grief that is never far away. Locked up tight in it's own little compartment.

I hurt so bad tonight. :cry: Seeing your babies that aren't here anymore makes me feel so sad when my grief compartment is open. I sit here knowing that somewhere out there, you hurt just as bad as I do. Tomorrow though, I'll be able to look at them and smile. I can look in your kitties eyes and imagine them and their personalities and it shows me how precious life is when you have the love of a cat and how precious you are for feeling the way you do about them. What exceptional people you are.

Thank you so much for sharing your lives with me.

 

im so glad to hear from you rowdy...

i know you feel so deeply sad...and i know how painful it is. but...i am not afraid of my sadness over otis, and i suspect you might be afraid of your feelings. i embrace my sadness...thats why i dont think it has power over me. when i resist powerful feelings and try to lock them away, they become more powerful...and then they control me.

i loved otis with all my heart...and i will never ever want to not feel my emotions over him. they honor his life. i hope soon you can learn to tolerate yours better. when i read your posts...i can feel the intensity of your sadness. he is such a lucky little kitty to have had a mommy that loved him so dearly. hang in there....and dont deny yourself the dignity of suffering.

 

This was "my" first cat, his name was Sofus:



It's hard to see him, but I think it's the only picture I have of him. He was very big with long, black fur and white paws.
The one thing I remember best about him is how much he loved to cuddle with me

 

Cutie kitties!

 

Lol, very cute!

 

This is Motley. She's the one that made me switch from a dog-person to a cat-person. I absolutely adored her. I was with her when she died (in 1999) and I'm so thankful I got to be with her then. She was only 7 years old. I was planning on stealing her from my parents when I moved out, but she didn't make it that long. :cry:





Motley with Winnie (RIP 2004):

 

Bente, that's such a beautiful picture of you and Sofus! Halaroo, Motley was gorgeous. What happened to her?

 

okay...bente, that picture is adorable...

and halaroo...motley looks familiar. have you posted her before??

i TOTALLY love the kitten pic of her!! do you think she could be any cuter?? i swear, she is running a close first to bean and hoggle. :wink:

 

Thanks for the compliments! I never thought I'd find another cat that I loved as much as her, but then Moe came along...

She had feline diabetes. I was with her when she died.

 

Poor Motley. :cry: I'm glad you had a chance to be with her during her passing. A stranger asked us to identify Venus on the side of the road. :shock: :cry: