Made To Feel Guilty For Not Killing My Cat

You know...today has been one of the worst days. Horrible, dreadful saddening rainy day Sunday. Just sick to my stomach with pain. I never realized all those years ago when I got Rowdy that these days would ever come. I don't know what I thought. I was a kid then. No concept of death. I have never been brought to my knees this way. I never dreamed that I would be having to make life or death decisions. Always figured myself to be a pretty good decision maker. Until now. Now, I can't even decide whether to stand up or sit down anymore. Going out of my mind.

Reading your stories... ahhhhh it hurts. It's one of those things where it's like... I want to say it's good not to feel alone but of course I'd rather feel alone than for any of you to have had to walk this same walk in hell. I hate it that each one of you had to go through this horrible feeling. I wish you never had to. I wish I never had to.

Mechanix the wounds are so fresh for you. God, I'm so sorry. See? sorry. What does that do. But I am. deeply. It hurts. lynnhaz, you have got to be one of the strongest women in the world for all you went through. 2 years of this. Oh man oh man. Thank you for the sweet words. Your max is adorable and I am keeping it in the back of mind what you and others have said about getting another cat. Now though, actually knowing what I'm going to have to face again one day really...really.. almost keeps me from wanting to go through it again. I have never been so unprepared for something as I was for this.

Jenn and horse_child Thank you both for what you said. It enabled me to hold my head up for a minute. I have tried to be a good mommy to Rowdy. I tried. I really tried. I fell a few times. Once, when he was little, we were too stupid to use a carrier or we didn't have one, I can't remember. But he was acting sick so we tried to carry him to the car but he scratched my husband bloody and he accidentally let go of him. He ran away. For two weeks he was gone with me frantically looking for him every chance I got. I remember how I was on my way to work and I thought I saw him in the road. I called my job and told them I wouldn't be there that day and decided to be honest and told them why. Because I had to catch my cat. I was probably bawling on the phone. All I know is that I got laughed out of town. That's when I realized that alot of other people didn't feel the same way that I did about pets. It hurt. It still hurts. You all are the only people that I've found that care as deeply and have just as much love for your pets as I do. It felt good finding all of you. Other people just think I'm crazy, I think. Anyway, Rowdy did come back eventually. Boy! He ate and ate and ate. That was in 1991. The good old days. :cry:

elizavixen, do you still have Punk? I'm so glad you found out what was wrong then. See? You had a miracle. Your vet told you kinda the same thing mine did. Cancer... or maybe not.. see..I'm beginning to see that it must be really hard to diagnose them. You wouldn't think so, you know? Vets go to school years to learn it but it's not like they (our pets) can talk and tell us exactly where it hurts, I guess.

I just can't stand it that he's dying in front of me and I don't know what's wrong with him. Not to mention, and this is the terrible part, I'm not sure if Rowdy even loves me anymore. :cry: Everytime he sees me coming, he automatically starts drooling. Afraid I'm going to pill him. I hate that he sees me as the enemy. He must. He absolutely must. He hasn't purred in awhile either. I'm guiltridden. There's nothing I can do. I'm torn. Completely torn at this point. I don't go to church, or tithe or anything and I'm just as much a sinner as the next guy (well..girl) but I'm pretty spiritual in a weird way. No comments about God or prayer are out of line to me. Not at all. Whether God is a real person that waits for me in heaven or simply just 'kindness personified' I'm open and I do pray alot. Like you said lynnhaz and I connected so much to it... now I'm just praying for the strength to make it through. Of course for Rowdy's health as well but it has declined so much even in the last few days that I feel I may be asking too much. I just don't know.

Rowdy's side was leaking fluid from what that Dr. Tibble vet did (see..look at me grabbing at straws..playing the blame game) but with the antibiotics, it has stopped. Only problem is... now..of course, it's leaking into his body again. His appointment with the good vet isn't until Wednesday morning and I noticed today that his leg was filling up with fluid. That's a first and I'm scared. More decisions... Take him tomorrow to Dr. Tibble and hope for the best when she screwed him up once already or hold out for Dr. Grissy? Decisions decisions... GOD I CAN'T STAND IT!! He doesn't seem to want to eat at all anymore. For the last few days. Even with the appetite pills. Still, he comes out into the living room and looks around, sniffs the dog, looks somewhat comfortable. For the first time I can ever remember, he peed outside of his box yesterday and today. He always sprayed the wall and I would get mad at him for it :cry: but never peed outside of the box. I'm getting really scared. Honestly, knowing now that alot of you have had to have this same feeling. Ugh. I'm sick all the time and have lost about 15 pounds. I didn't even have a period this month and I just know it's from the stress. I look like hell. I just can't help it. Even when my own father died, I can't remember feeling this much anguish. I guess it was because it was quick and I had to deal with it and of course people accepted my tears then because it wasn't "just a cat" grrr This is much harder. It's my baby.

I would take him to another vet but I really don't think it will do any good. We'll have to start all over again from square one. More expensive tests done again because you know how vets are like that. They don't take the word of another vet. (as well I guess they probably shouldn't.) We had gotten a home equity loan to pay off some bills right before Rowdy got sick and thank God we had that money to use for the hospitalization. The bills never got paid off but who cares. At least I had my cat for another 2 months. I work overnights in a grocery store. I don't make alot of money. I'm using alot of what I make to keep Rowdy's fluids drained each week and other things he needs while my husband tries to pay the bills. So far it's working. The vet I go to is somewhat sympathetic and I notice that she has been putting a discounted price on the last few bills. I feel crazy even for saying that I didn't pay off the bills with the loan because my cat comes first but I can't help it. He's family. I'd do it for my husband, or brothers, or mother..why should I not do it for one of the only living things that has ever stayed by my side no matter what. He was always there for me.

He won't eat. I already know what that means. If he gets fatty liver again, it'll be back to the hospital. He can't take another stint in the hospital. I had a terrible dream when he first got sick and was in the hospital. It was very real though. I wouldn't believe anybody when they told me it didn't happen. I had a dream that my phone rang and I was barely awake when I heard the vet saying into the answering machine, "I'm sorry. We lost Rowdy today." I could've sworn that really happened and I'm scared it was some kind of premonition.

I don't know what I'm going to do when he gets worse. I just don't know. I am scared to death. Truly.

Thanks again for everything. I mean it. (((( Many many Hugs)))) I'm almost scared to ask but this fluid building up on Rowdy's leg. It's really swollen. I can feel it in my bones...

...It's bad isn't it?

 

oh...how incredibly stressful and sad. poor little rowdy. he has a strong soul though...just hanging in there. :wink:

marynh posted awhile back about their doggie who was sick...filling up with fluid. she even said she wasnt going to be posting for a while because they had the day planned that they were going to put her to sleep. then...i guess they tried a medication that took all the fluid out...(i cant remember exactly the circumstances...) and she recovered!!

so dont loose hope...and you will know. there was no choice for me. i knew that otis couldnt survive that seizure...at his age...and be okay. i cant tell you it will be easy...but i can tell you that you will get through it. i can also tell you i know that deep grief and fear. it is consuming. :cry: i feel so badly for you and your kitty. but i also believe their souls never die. i know that otis is there at rainbow bridge waiting....but he is happy now.

 

Hang in there RoWdY. You've got to take better care of yourself. 15 lbs weight loss is serious in a short amount of time. When you are sad, and sickly, your kitty picks it up too. I don't believe your cats hate you. It's impossible. You are one of the most loving people that I know. I can not offer you good advice for your kitty, but I am here for you along with our good friends at Auspet.

You might want to read some of the info here. It may pertain to you.
http://www.pet-loss.net/preloss.html

 

thanks vene for the link. :y_the_best: what a wonderful site. i read the part about "pre-bereavement" and totally identified. i bargained as early as two years before otis's death. i told God one day that i would not cuss at people when i was driving or get angry at people as long as he kept otis in good health...and alive. i prayed that he would live until twenty. [-o<

i wasnt perfect...but i sure tried to be nicer to people all the time. i figured it was the least i could do if he was going to watch over otis. O

RoWdy...as vene says...take care of yourself....our kitties know when we are upset. max came and sniffed my face the other day when i was crying about something....he ran real fast over to me...and just sniffed and sniffed. they know... :wink:

 

Please do not feel bad for not being able to let your baby go. I have never been in that position, but i told my husband from the start that the decision would fall on him when the time came because, I too, could not give the ok to have any of my babies put to sleep. Don't ever feel bad for loving your baby beyond words...All pets should be so lucky.

 

Well, the end is near now.

I took Rowdy to the vet this morning and knew before she even told me that he wouldn't be with me much longer.

I knew by the dreams I had last night. Those house dreams that I always get before someone I love dies. Empty houses. Empty sorrowful houses. This time though, the house wasn't empty. It was sunny and beautiful. Had this staircase where the steps were all very big and wide and not steep at all. I saw Rowdy in every room. I wanted to be there with him where it was sunny bright and warm but I woke up instead.

I also knew by what happened yesterday evening before all that happened. I walked out onto the porch and was surprised to see a large gray cat standing at the foot of the stairs staring holes through me. I've never seen a cat in my yard before even though we do live out in the country. I wish I could say that he made me feel good but he didn't. Instead, he had the most awful look in his eyes. Almost menacing. It scared me. To me, it was the Grim Reaper of Cats coming for mine. Coming for my precious Rowdy. Yeah, I know that's not even plausible and I hate myself for seeing the gray cat as menacing... but he was. We both just stared at each other. Me, protecting my doorway and him just standing there glaring. Finally, he ran off leaving me with a pounding heart.

Rowdy's in total organ failure. She suspects that it has been liver cancer all along and now it has caused congestive heart failure. No more shots, no more pills, no more anything. She wouldn't even drain his fluids because she was afraid she'd kill him on the spot. I broke down in the office, sobbed like a baby. But I wasn't ashamed. Will never be ashamed for loving that cat so. She let me call my husband who works about 100 miles away from there. He said that I needed to bring him home. He cannot put Rowdy to sleep. I asked the vet flat out if Rowdy would suffer like she said he would if he would've died of Fatty Liver that time and she said that he would probably just put his head down and be gone just like that. She said that he would probably die today or tomorrow. She gave him something to make him "feel better" although I don't know what.

So there Rowdy sits, on the floor beside my chair. Looking strangely calm and content. He ate some today. At first, I found myself looking at his umpteen cans of cat food thinking that I would saving his favorite ones for later on when it hit me that there will be no later on.

And here I sit, having to face going to work later not knowing whether Rowdy will be alive when I return. Guilt is surfacing from every direction. Why did I have to keep forcing the pills...why didn't I give him a break from the antibiotic yesterday.. why can't I just let him go. why why why why why why why

If he's in pain, he doesn't show it. But he must be. He must be. I feel so guilty. I can't stop the tears from flowing. I'm in shock. There he is. Sitting there beside me. Soon, he will be there no longer. I can't stand this anymore. How do you take this? How do you get over this devastation? I wish I could just crawl in a hole and die. I wish someone would just walk up to me with a shotgun and blow me away. I wish I could just run outside and get struck by lightening.

Anything would be better than this pain.

My Rowdy. My baby. I can't do this. Help me. Someone make it stop. Please someone MAKE IT STOPPPPPPPPPP

 

I'm really sorry about Rowdy. Your post was very touching. Your love for him is very apparent. I hope you can be with him when it's time. Is there any way you can take the day off work?

Stop feeling so guilty. You are doing all you can. We have all been through it. You think you will never feel good again, but eventually you do. It just happens one day, you realize you're not crying anymore when you think of him. The time it takes is different for everyone, but I do promise that it will come.

Please take care of yourself. You will get through it. Give Rowdy a kiss for me. We are all here for you.

 

Don't feel guilty, don't feel sad, not yet. Be strong for Rowdy. He looks calm and content. Perhaps he knows his end is near. No matter how much time is left between the both of you, share your last moments doing happy things- cuddling, petting him, telling him how much you love him. These are the things I never got to do with my husband's first cat Kitty. We were in college and he was dying. His family did not notify us. Kitty stopped eating for a week and would only drink water. One day he had a convulsion while drinking water and passed on without us. We wish we were there for him, with him, telling him what a good little kittle he is. But it never happened. You have this golden opportunity, do not blow it on grieving, there's time for that later. Reminesce the wonderful times you had spent together. I'm positive he understands. Treasure this moment- together.

 

oh dear ...please try to stay positive for the energy that you transmit to him. if you love him...you have to stay positive and strong. if you believe in karma...positive energy is so important. he will have peace. he will be happy. trust knowing that you are a good mommy to him. anyone that feels the way you do, has to be loving and caring. your grief is a testiment of your love for him. :kiss_heart:

the gray cat.... :x

one time i had a dream that the devil inhabited otis's body. i killed it. :m3: i strangled it. i think we protect our animals in dreams and in real life. i think you are protecting him. i felt so stressed during that dream, but nothing bad happened to otis. (i personally think it was symbolic of you being there for him...protecting him to the end. )

i feel so sad. i cried when i read your post. i know that deep grief. i cried and cried and cried when otis died. its a wonder i went to work that day. but i was there with him at the end. just not when they put him to sleep...i couldnt be there in the room. i will say a little prayer for rowdy. [-o< i feel so sad for you.

it reminds me of when chessminds handsome passed. tragic circumstances. he was devastated. but...we all are, when our beloved animal's pass. other people on the forum have shared how they still grieve their kitties passing...like vene...she is visited by vene every now and then...has seen her...

we go on, and always carry them in our memories...we will always have our memories of them...and that is the true gift. the memories wont ever be lost.

please...know that you are not alone. :cry:

lynn
max
mikey

 

I'm soooo sorry to hear about Rowdy, i feel so sad for you
I completely agree with Vene, this time is precious and you need to make the most of it and think of all the happy times you've had with Rowdy, I'm sure he doesn't want you to feel so sad and he loves you for loving him so much, don't feel guilty you've done everything you possibly could to make him feel better.

 

how is rowdy today??

 

im sure rowdy knows that you have done every thing possible to help him get better and loves you even more becuse of that. dont listen to people who say that you should have put him to sleep, because that just means that they've never had a pet and dont understand how easy it is to say that but not how hard it is to do it. your vet should know how hard this is for you and should not keep suggesting it. maybe you could ask your boss for some time off to spend with rowdy so that you could have more time to spend with him before he goes. dont feel guilty for not putting him to sleep because its not fair to you or him to lose time that could be spent together. the only thing that you can do now is to give him all the love and attention that you can and in return he will continue to show his love for you for eternity by watching over you from above when he is no longer with you. and when you look back on all wonderfull memories you have of rowdy remember that he loves you and always will

 

I used to wonder why people never came back to the board to let anybody know whatever happened about their pet. I always hated that. Don't you? I guess I know why now. Most likely, their pet died and they just can't face seeing their own desperate words on the screen. Knowing the hope that they had was in vain.

I felt that way too, but I'm trying to overcome that feeling so that I can say thank you. For every well wish and kind word. I'm sorry, for not being able to come here sooner. I just couldn't bear to see the thread. Please forgive me.

Rowdy's been gone one month today. See.. I still can't stand to see those words. Writing this is too hard. I knew it would be. I wanted to die after it happened. I couldn't do anything at all but cry. I kept thinking that I should go too. That it wasn't fair for him to die and me to keep on living. I know he was a cat but he was my best friend.

He lived a few days longer than the vet said he would. I feel triumphant about that in a pathetic kind of way. The vet always just seemed a little too eager for him to die to me. Always telling me, he's going to die! Put him to sleep! Like she was disgusted with me. But I couldn't help it and she didn't understand. He was such a strong cat. Indestructible, I thought.

I learned what makes others consider putting them to sleep finally. Because at the end, if they're in pain, there just is no other choice. What else are ya gonna do, let them lay there and cry? I didn't put Rowdy to sleep. But I would have, if I had sensed that his suffering was intolerable. Lately, I've been beginning to feel some deep guilt over putting him through the tests, the poking, the pills. I didn't at first, but now I do. I just couldn't let him go. Sometimes when I think that I just might be able to make it through this, I'll see his face in my mind. The way he looked after we had given him the damned pills. Asking me WHY!!!!!!!??? It was all for NOTHING!!! I'm so angry!!!!!!!!! He died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It still shocks me that he's gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ahhhhh.... When I woke up that morning, I knew he was going to die. He was so cold when I touched him. 'Nightmare' can't even begin to describe how sick I felt inside. I held him and snuggled with him all day even though part of me just wanted to run away. I wanted to run so far that I couldn't even remember anymore. He kissed me with his little nose and it was dry. He went downhill fast. I still can't get the picture out of my head of him literally crawling to get to me so he could kiss me. We just stared into each other's eyes and I sobbed. They say that cats aren't afraid of dying but you know what? He looked scared to me.

I struggled all day with should I be there when he died or not and all I could think of was that I just wish he could go in his sleep. It was late that night and I laid beside him and went to sleep hoping that he would. I heard him meow twice. My cat never meowed much so I knew it was coming and I forced myself back to sleep because I couldn't stand it anymore. I hate myself for that now but I just couldn't stand to see him take his last breath.

When I woke up, he was gone. I just stared at his chest, not believing that I didn't see him breathing, thinking that maybe he was. His eyes were open. That killed me. He didn't die in his sleep. My husband wrapped him in a blanket and put him on the couch. He didn't let himself cry in front of me. I thought he would break down, knew that he wanted to, but he didn't. He stayed strong. I think I was in denial for the first week.

I was really scared about how my dog would react to it. She sniffed him and then, it was as if suddenly...she understood everything. Kitty was gone and she had to move on. For days, she smelled the spots where he used to lay but she never seemed to be searching for him. She grieved in her own way, I guess. She didn't play anymore.

I hate it that he doesn't get to live and have any fun anymore. He doesn't get to play anymore. He doesn't get to eat anymore. That's the part that makes me the saddest. I miss him so much! One week after he died, I walked into the house and suddenly smelled him everywhere. The dog did too. I know it sounds weird but I could smell his fur. That was one of the hardest days of all. I relived every minute of his death. You would think I would feel comforted but it hurt. It hurt bad. The house was so lonely for so long.

Last week, I did something I never thought I would do. I got a kitten.

For some reason, I just happened upon the SPCA website (I know..I know) and there he was. The spitting image of my Rowdy. He was just looking at me as if to say, "What are you waiting for Momma?! Come get me!" I knew that he could never be Rowdy and I thought about what if he dissapointed me and I him so I left it alone. It wouldn't be fair to make him live up to some impossible standard. But as the days went by, I found myself with the computer on all the time with his picture up there. I showed my husband who had made it known in no uncertain terms that he NEVER wanted another cat. When he saw him though, I think he had the same reaction as I did. Love at first sight. His name was Tiger.

I called about him and they told me he already had a contract on him. I was so dissapointed. Still... I just wouldn't leave it alone. I knew he was my cat. I faxed in my application and waited. They're supposed to let you know one way or the other in 24-48 hours. I waited about three days. No word. I couldn't bring myself to call or go there because as weird as it sounds... I thought I would jinx it or something. I found an e-mail address of the administrator and wrote her. The next day, she called and said that she had been out of town and no one had gotten the faxes, it was still laying there. She said someone would be contacting me. The day after that, they called. I wasn't home so I had to wait until the next day to call them. I never mentioned on the phone that they had previously said that he had a contract on him (the jinxing thing) and neither did they. I guess their application fell through or they changed their mind. She said that my application had been approved and that our vet when contacted, had told them that we were wonderful people. (go figure) I remember myself saying, "You mean our application on Tiger was approved?" She said in a funny sarcastic way, "Noooo I'm calling you to tell you that someone else's application had been approved on Tiger." I said, "He's ours?" She said "Yep." My heart was beating a million miles a minute! I couldn't believe it!! Me! That can never stop procrastinating long enough to get anything done had accomplished something.

When I picked him up, all the papers were like buying a house or something. I never told her that the only place I had seen him was online. I thought she wouldn't understand that. So when she finally brought him in, guess what? He looked NOTHING like the picture. His body looked like Rowdy but his face was totally different. I know it sounds terrible but I thought I had made a big mistake. He meowed all the way home. Rowdy never meowed. My dog HATED him. I was like..OMG what have I done. Then.... a few days later... my dog and him made friends. I started liking him alot, the house wasn't so lonely. He had his own charms.


The rest is history. I love him madly now. The dog and him are bestest friends, never going anywhere without the other. He isn't quite as friendly as I wish he were. He doesn't like to snuggle or be held that much. I'm working on that though. He's quite adorable. Orange tabby just like Rowdy. I find myself feeling guilty over being so excited to come home and see him. I used to feel this sickness inside whenever I had to come home and give Rowdy medicine. Now I feel great excitement. I watch him playing with the dog all day and try to hug him when he allows it. I'm almost in awe watching him eat, he loves to eat! Rowdy had gotten to where seeing him eat one little kernel of dry food was a blessing for that day. His body works. His organs work. I keep thinking he'll get sick though.

He had runny eyes when I first got him. One running eye actually. I took him to the vet. A different vet because I don't know if I can ever bring myself to face the memories at the other vet. This vet scared me senseless. They say when you have a feeling about something that you should go with your gut instinct. This man looks like Dr. Kevorkian. He had him on the table for 5 seconds when he says that Tiger has some sort of bum leg. Some 'rare' cat leg thing. Then he said that he needed more shots and that my 'free' visit (cause the SPCA gives you a free visit so that you'll take them in 7 days) just went up to 48 dollars. I asked him why the SPCA told me that he wouldn't need more shots for a year then and he said, "How should I know...I'm the vet. I've been doing this for blah blah years" He looked like the kind of guy that would kill you and experiment on your body and nobody would ever know. I don't think I'm ever going back there. I told him about Rowdy and that the other vet didn't know if he had FIP or cancer and he said, "FIP is just a simple blood test to find out." That's not true is it?? Either he's really smart or really thinks he's God. I don't know which yet. He kept singing T I DOUBLE GGG NO ONE G ARRRRRRRRRR. In a serial killer kind of way.

So guess what? Here I am having to put eye ointment in my new cats eyes having to see him hate it, just like Rowdy. Unlike Rowdy though, it's just a little eye ointment so Tiger can surely deal with that. I'm terrified that he's sick. What if he has a disease? What if he has some sort of virus? What if his eyes don't get better? I've been giving him the ointment for 4 days and his eyes are still runny. I don't know. Not letting myself go there. Just trying to enjoy him.

Yes, it's better having him here. My husband loves him too. I still miss Rowdy though. I feel bad for having fun with the new kitten. It's not fair that Rowdy doesn't get to have fun anymore. How am I supposed to have fun while Rowdy's gone. Sometimes when I think I'm going to be ok with it after awhile, I'll wake up and see his picture on my dresser. The one where he is a kitten, stretching. That's when it all comes flooding back. That's when I get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I have a new mouth to feed though. Feels good to be needed at least. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it, to go through the pain of them leaving us. Then I look at my new kitten and I remember Rowdy as a kitten and all those happy years we had together and I know...that it is. Without having them, life is empty.

I thank you again for everything. You guys are the true ones that got me through what was to come. Prepared me for it, and understood. Those dark desperate days. I just wanted you to know what happened.

Love, Cindy

 

Rowdy, we all missed you! *hugs*, and welcome Tiger!

 

Thank you for coming back here, I have often thought of you and Rowdy.
We all dread the day that we have to go through what you have
Would love to see some pics of Tiger, I'm glad hes settled in well !

 

Hi Cindy. Your post was very touching. I had to see 2 beloved pets die in my life, and the decision to get another one is often a difficult one to make. As hard as the end of a life is, just think of all the years of joy you will get out of being a part of Tiger's life. I'm sure Rowdy is proud of your decision to give another kitty a chance at living as wonderful a life as you gave him.

Stick around for a while, we've got a good group of people here.

 

pic, pics, pics please!!

I'm so glad you decided to give the news of Rowdy & Tiger! Although I wasn't a member when you made your first post about Rowdy, I read your whole story and it was really heartwarming how much you love your cats!

Please post us some pics! I would love to see your beautiful kitty!

 

Cindy~I'm so glad your back. Tiger sounds like one lucky kitten to have found you.

I once lived with someone who had a cat, Daisy, with one runny eye. It had something to do with the tearduct being blocked. Nothing could be done about it, but it never bothered her and it wasn't really anything to be concerned about. What exactly did the doctor say about Tiger's running eye?

 

hi cindy. i am glad that you found tiger....and am very sorry about rowdy passing...very sorry. :cry:

but...that is what we do...we grieve, and honor their memory by giving love to another kitty...love is not supposed to be selfish...reserved for just one...it is to be shared freely, to all the kitties that need love.

at least that is how i feel.

it takes a while to adjust. max has been on meds for six months. when he was a tiny kitten, i thought he was going to die. every day i worried...he wasnt growing...but he was running and playing...just not growing...and went poo ten to twelve times a day. i thought he would dehydrate and die...

through all of his medical stuff...medication after medication...i have gotten more relaxed...and i now dont think hes going to die. i think alot of my fears were from otis dying....that experience was so devastating to me...that i projected my fears onto max, and worrried that he would die too. but kitties get goobies in their eyes, and get diarrhea, and get sneezies...and dont die.

i think your kitty will be fine. but...i would find a new vet. go with your feeling. your kitty is young. you want a vet that can be there years from now...that you trust and respect.

and...i hope you visit often in the forum.... :wink:

 

I am verysorry to hear about Rowdy. It is very hard to lose a furry loved one..it has been 7 weeks since my Suzy died , 2 1/2 years since Honey, and Jake(my german sheppard) they died a month apart and 4 years since I lost Tiffany. I always miss them sometimes even cry, a little over 4 years ago we had 4 cats and 2 dogs. Now we have 1 kitty Nitro he is 14and 1 dog Pantera she is 12. It was never easy to lose one and it never got easier as they would go. the one thing that helped me was beingable tohug and cuddle the others after we lost one of our babies and still when I get sad I will hug one of them. Sorry got carried away there