Made To Feel Guilty For Not Killing My Cat

Thanks y'all. :cry:

Today is another one of those days. Crisp and cool. When the breeze rustles by, it's like your whole life story passes in front of you. Then you're faced with the reasoning that no matter how much something blows, the world just keeps spinning. I just can't stand it all. It's like the whole point of your life is to see how many years of pain you can put up with so that when you die, maybe just maybe, you'll have paid your dues so that you can finally be alright.


Mechanix I'm sorry. :cry: That's alot to handle. I wish I could hug you. Hang in there. How did Honey and Jake die so close together? That must've been almost unbearable.

lynnhaz that's exactly what's happening to me. I'm making myself sick over thinking that he's sick. I'm giving him lots of love though. Sometimes I just sit and watch him breathing. Sometimes I watch him play with the dog. They play for hours. I'm almost envious of their special little bond. Tiger's getting more friendly. The other night he slept with me in bed for the first time. Him and the dog, curled right up next to me. That felt pretty great. He runs to the door now too when I come home. Right next to the dog, he just comes running to see me. I think he's starting to think that he is a dog.

wtpooh I had read up on the blocked tearduct thing. I'm hoping it's not that but hearing that Daisy lived ok with it makes me feel better if it turned out to be that. The vet never let me hardly get a word in edgewise. He kept talking 'down' to me. He actually scared me. If I was a cat, all of my hair would've been standing up everywhere. He just gave me some ointment and said to give it to him for 5-10 days. It's already been 7 days and one of his eyes is still running and he squints a little. I'm guessing it's conjunctivitis. I hope it goes away. If not I'll have to find another vet. I just can't seem to find one that I'm comfortable with and trust. This guy seemed to be all bent on me coming there for a 'free' visit, like I was trying to get something over on him. I took him there because the SPCA makes you sign a form saying you'll take them to the vet within 7 days and they will pay for it. He was on the list. I was just doing what she wanted me to do, not trying to get anything over on anybody. Jeeze I knew I'd have to pay for it, it wasn't going to break me or anything. I trusted Rowdy's doc ok but if you happened to be unlucky enough not to be able to get her a particular day, you had to see one of the others and I really don't want to see any of them. I'm still looking.

darkrabbit Nice to meet you. Thanks. I don't have a cam. I have lots of pictures though. We have a scanner but I'm a big doofus and can't figure out how to use it. One day I will. I've found so many pictures of Rowdy lately. Rowdy in the cabinet, behind the chair, sleeping with the dog. He had the cutest little pink nose.

Thanks halaroo I hope you're right. I sure do. I never wanted to get another cat. My mom has many, MANY cats and ever since Rowdy died she had been trying to give me 2 kittens but I kept telling her forget it. I saw them, nothing clicked in my mind. They were nice cats sure but they just weren't for me. I didn't feel that certain something that you feel when you lay eyes on your future. So when I get Tiger, OMG was she mad. My mom called me cruel for not taking her kittens. I just couldn't. For one thing, she kept telling me how they were HER cats and were going to be raised her way or whatever even if I raised them. :0021: She's still mad at me. Hope she gets over it soon. I feel a little crappy about it. She never lets me talk about Tiger either.

Ginger Thanks for thinking of me. That means alot to me that you did.

vene I missed you all too. Mucho mucho. Thanks for your kindness.

You know... I'm just now finally figuring out what makes me really genuinely happy. Animals. Pets. I feel excitement about them. They fill that void inside that no man, job, car, could ever fill. Probably like babies are to other people. I wish I would've gone into some field dealing with pets. I couldn't be a vet though, I could never put them to sleep. I'd make a lousy dog groomer too. I'm not much of a disciplinarian. I doubt I could make them sit still that long. Still...I just wish there was something I could do with them. I've thought of volunteering at the SPCA but time is a precious commodity around here. My mind is always going back to I wish I would've done this or that...but I didn't.

Anyway, take care everybody, I'll be around. Lets all hug all of our babies extra tight today (well...don't choke them of course.) 8-[

Love, Cindy

 

hehe. well, if you decide you want to post some pictures (which i'm dieying to see, like everyone else on the board i'm a picture ham :lol: ), you can PM me and I can tell you how to setup your scanner etc. i'm pretty computer efficient!

 

Honey had kidney failure, and we are not sure what was wrong with Jake he was fine around 10 in the morning I was out front and he decided to jump the fence and see what I was doing. when I was done I told him to get in the back yard went to work got home around 11 went to check their food and water and I couldnt find him I thought he got out and was getting ready to go look for him when my wife opened a window on theside of the house and he laying there. It had been a while since he had died. Vet told us it was probably heart failure, he had just got his shots and a check up 2 months before only thing vet said was wrong then was that he was a little over weight 105lbs should be around 85-90. He was a very good boy except for jumping the fence which was something new for him didnt do it for his first 8 years but during his last 9 months he did it all the time :?