Ok, I need a mothers advice!!!

That's very true, and it's also the hardest thing in the world to do. Sams, I know you don't want your sister to get hurt, but it may be the only way she learns. I think the best thing you can do is try to prevent the most serious consequences - pregnancy, drugs, etc - and hope she doesn't take too long to come to her senses. And then be there for her when it all falls apart.


Jamiya

 

Ok I haven't read this all the way through yet but I had to post, because I don't want her to end up like my little sister!! Ok when she was 14 or so she started dating guys and the were always losers(always like the stoners and skaters, but not the normal ones the total loser ones, who don'T finish high school)! and I would always tell her oh that guy is a loser he isn'T he even good looking why are you with him? But so that stopped when she moved in with my sister (my parents divorced and neither parents wanted her, sad) and she started going out with really nice guys, then suddenly she started hanging out with a different crowd, most of the people were foreigners, which I don'T mean anything by that as I am a foreigner, so please don'T take that the wrong way. But some of them weren'T there legally, so they didn'T work or go to school, but just hung out smoking pot (or whatever drug) she ended up getting pregnant after one one night stand, whne she was 17, she told (this is a bit confusing) my sister (her legal guardian)'s sister in law, who was unable to have children, she could adopt the baby, at the last minute my sister changed her mind. My other sister, her legal guardian said she could no longer stay with her once she was 18 and had the baby, because my sister already had 4 kids and the last one was only 6 months older than my little sisters baby. So my sister went to live with my mom, and there she never took care of the baby my mom always did, but she did have a full time job and was 18, so she prefered to think of my mom as just helping out. So I set my sister up with my (at that time) boyfriends brother, he was really nice, didn't mind the kid so much, it was great, then my bf and I breakup so I lose contact with them, but a few months later I go home to visit and she had been in a terrible accident, someone beat the crap out of her, my sister was over 18 and this girl was a minor, so no charges could be pressed, anyway this was over her new fiancee he was dating someother girl and so she jumped my sister(or at least that is the story I have heard). So my sister and this guy get married and exactly 9 months and one day later she has another kid. But she smoked the whole way through the pregnancy. I think the baby is very unhealthy. So my sister was working at a resting home and always having bruises all over her and saying oh this slipped or that.. Oh yea did I forget to mention her fi just before they met had just gotten out of jail and will never tell us for what and he was previously married and has a kid that he didn'T pay child support for, my sister says he is skitzophrenic(sp) and I have seen him smoke pot before and people have told me he is a major crack head and he won'T work, he'll show up fr a while or if he needs to turn something in to his probation officer, then he has a job for a few days. But my sister promises he is a great guy when he is taking his meds! So the last time I saw her was last summer and before then I think it had been since her wedding that I had seen her, because she couldn'T afford to take care of her husband and 2 kids (and the one he refuses to help at all, because she is a "mix" , that is what he always says, nt me) and he doesn'T like to stay at home to watch them so she has toput them in day care, but I hadn'T seen her in so long because she was always getting kiked out of her apartments, living in her car, hotels, whatever. So last year I saw them, they live in this nasty ghetto part of town and when I got there, my 5 year old niece was plaing outside with the other neighborhood kids (and I haven'T seen her since she was 3) but I called her name to make sureit was her and she came running to me like she wanted to hug me I asked her if she knew me and she said no, but I asked her to take me to her apt. she did, the door was unlocked, I could here my 2 yr.old nephew crying because he was locked inside his bedroom, with a bungee cord! while my sister and husband slept. They slept for nearly 2 hours while I cleaned up the kids and gave them some food, and this wasn'T early in the morning, this was noon or so, while they slept I noticed the piles of diapers and poo smeared into the floor, it was truly disgusting. Later on that night, my sister and her husband smoked somepot, while people came to visit and make drug deals, but the kids were asleep! The next day my little sister tells my older sister she is 4 months prego! and only a few months after having a misscarriage and my sister is about 5' tall but she weighed maybe soaking wet 100lbs. It was so disgusted by all this I called social services and did everything Icould, I would have kidnapped the kids but the next days I was leaving to move to Germany. Now my sister has 3 kids, she is 22, and a crazy skitzo drug addicted husband. Make sure your sister stays far far away from him and the next guy isn'T that type, send her away to college anything to get her away from the guy, because no matter what you say to her she will stay with him, the more you push them away the tighter they will get, and the more new wonderful guys you bring in the more possesive he will get until, you don'T get to see her anymore, so you neeed to send her away. But on a plus she is on the pill. But definitely should not stay with him!!!

 

Ok yall, so this is what I did! Jamiya, Your going to love this one, and Puttin, I think we were thinking the same thing!!!
SO Friday evening, I called her on her Cell. She was with him, So I invited her over (without him!!!) Kristi and I had already drunk about 3 4pks of sour apple Seagrams...he he he....So we were thinking real good about that time! SO she comes over, Drinking a beer! I just aobut lost it when I saw my baby sister drinking and driving!!!! Oh she knows not to EVER do that again!

Anyhow. I don't mind if she drinks around us, but I'll be darned if she'll drive! So We kicked back a few and laughed (she knows she can have fun around me... and I enjoy her being there, at least I know she's not doing the same thing somewhere else, with no one to watch over her) ANyhow.... I just casually made a phone call, (which I had already arranged for him to answer at that time!) and invited him to come over, but to kinda hide things, I mad my bf Dave bring him...he he he sneaky!!!

She justabout fell over for him!!! His name is Eric, he's such a sweetie! He's kinda shy, her age! and We've known them for a long time. He doesn't drink, smoke, none of that....church every sunday,,,, you know....

Oh so they talked and talkd, turned out he works at the same restaraunt but she never saw him because he worked a diffrent shift than she did! Oh yall it was soooo cute!!!!


Ok so in the meantime.... I got Dave and James.... Dave has been my best friend since the 4th grade. He's about 6'9", everyone used to make fun of us cuz I"m a whoping 5'2" and he towered over me. He used to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder like a sack of taters,,,,said I walked tooo slow. he heeh, James, well he's a biker guy. Tattooed all over, buff, long hair and piercings. Looks like the worst serial killer around!1! He's sooo sweet though, I don't think he could hurt a fly if it bit him!
So Those two set off to look for him. They found him at walmart, and approached him (this is what they told me when they got back) The arse hole was drinking and smoking pot right in the parking lot!!! Dumb... SO James grabbed him and threw him against the car. Theytold him she was off limits. He wasn't to talk to her, call her, look at her, and if he even thought about her he would become "less" off a man, litterally.
They said he was trying to play tough in front of his little buddies, and tried to fight. So dave picked him up and shook him! They said he just about S#!t his pants!!!!

Well they were walking off and he threw something at them! SO dave picked him up, put him on the ground and James stood on his....um.....goonads!!!!! Told him what a punk he was and that they'd be watching him!!!! All his buddieshave already run off by now. We never mentioned his name to her since last week.....didn't tell her what we had planned, just left her in the dark.

Sooo no Amanda is hung up on Eric, and hopefully Jordan is out of the picture!!!! Ahhhhhh relief...She called me last night and told me that Eric left her a note at the Cash register...Awwwwww!!!!! SO were taking her and him out this weekend to see a movie.

 

Wonderful news! I hope it works out for everyone.


Jamiya

 

sams: Speaking as a former dirtbag magnet, You ended up doing the best thing by providing the better option first (followed up by sneaky intimidation plan). The thing that finally got through to me was, my family, who I am unnaturally close to ( ), simply stopped inviting me to functions where I would have invited the dirt bag Du Jour. I hated, HATED being isolated from them that way. They were never mean to me or crappy about anything and never brought up again (after the initial session where they told me what they thought of him). Told me they loved me, did things with me if HE was not around and frankly I started resent HIM not them. I'll say a prayer for all of you and keep my fingers and toes crossed too!

 

I hope your strategy worked! I'd be careful if there's a next time, though. Jordan can file assault charges against Dave and James, especially if Jordan had his friends as a witness. Jordan doesn't sound like he's worth doing any jail time over. Jordan sounds like he would be the kind of punk to do something like that, too.

Also, if Dave and James made him look like a fool in front of his friends and your Sister, he just may try to retaliate by doing something else just to redeem himself.

Don't underestimate him. Sounds like he's high as a kite most the time and doesn't use a whole lot common sense. You hear about these types going "postal" all the time.

 

Yay for you and your sister, but you have to make sure that the new guy isn'T too clingy and lovey dovey, she might like the "rugged"(really means sleezebag) type guy, some girls just do and think this guy, although it is cute to leave a note, it can also be gross or disgusting, what a weirdo? At least that is what I always thought, even thought the guys had the best intentions, so you have to make sure if she starts to feel that way about him that she doesn'T go back to the first guy or go to an even worse guy!

 

That was the thing I was worried about. that he might just be tooo nice. But he's not. They were picking on each other, and later on, they were playing a game of "chase with the water hose". It was sooo funny. He's not clinging to her, or anything. The note he left was sweet though. Just said, hey I think your really cool. Would you like to hang out some time? He had her cell # but didn't call her, she called him! He likes riding 4 wheelers and dirt bikes and stuff (so he's a bit on the edgy side which will keep her intrested) so she wants to go riding and hog hunting with him now.....oh geee....I think she's the lovey dovey clingy one!

I ain't all that worried about Jordan. If he calls the cops, and with his rep,they'll never belive him. Besides they'd bag him and take him to jail upon site. Apparently,(and this comes from a cops mouth) he's got a couple of warrents out. So I'm not too concerned about that. And I told dave and james, if he filed anyhting I'm sorry. I didn't tell them to do all that, They were just supposed to talk to him. and intimidate him. They added everything else in. She's too good of a girl, and she's like a sister to them too.

 

keep our finges crossed, since things are going the way you want

honeybear

 

If they've got warrants out on him, the next time one of you happens across him in a parking lot drinking and doing drugs, I would quietly call the police.


Jamiya

 

AMEN, Jamiya! I do that, too in a heartbeat. Then I would sit back, wait, and enjoy the show!!

 

yea if he has warrants, call the police!! where do you live? If in the Usa, I might know some agents who could help totally absolve this problem!! But only if he is into fairly big stuff, they don'T actually care so much about the little guys

 

Don't you just love the "logic" of that? If they clean up the little guys, eventually there won't be any big guys left.


Jamiya

 

yeah. I've already made plans to call!!!! I'm justwaiting for the little punk to cross my path. I'm sure I'll see him somewhere.

Jamiya - Next episode of Sams Intentions, FBI are involved in a series of cradle robbers. Their seeking out the ring leader _ Jordan the evil. Due to their several attempts and failure each time. They've decided to call in the team : Samsintentions, Jamiya, and GinaH!!!! Wahoooo we got us a Charlies Angels swing in too!!!

 

sams: The episode should be called "Jordan Does Jail". After the unsuccesful infiltration of Sams family, Jordan finds himself in a jam, surrounded by the 3 hostile women he realizes he is outnumbered, little does he know that the dogs on the property have been specially trained to sniff out losers and they are hot his trail....

 

Hey Sam! Just read your post not the rest so I probably sound like a broken record. UGH! I wish I had more time to read posts, but I'm at my In laws using their computer. Anyways, trust me, keep her away from him as much as possible. I had a friend in a relationship just like this and trust me, it did not turn out well for her in the end.
Instead of telling her why she can't date him, let her know your worries, about the situation instead. You know teens tell them no and they do it anyways. good luck!

 

Sams, well done on your little 'blind date' set up. Has she heard from Jordan at all?

 

She emailed me, and I'd post the email, but its got some "personal" stuff in it that she wouldn'twant me talkinga bout

But yes, he called her and told her what happened. She told me she couldn't believe I'd do that. I just told her I didn't do anything. I was with HER the whole time. :roll:
he he he

Then I told her. Amanda. Everyone loves you and everyone wants to look out for you. WE all saw a potentially dangerous person and we don't want you hurt. So she called me crying. Saying she loved me and that a friend of hers told her that he was going around telling people that she was easy, and spread her legs for anyone!!! I know thats not true. If it was, she would have told me.
Plus he was making comments like she was doing drugs with him,and she's a slut and all kinds of horrible things. Everyone knows its not true. Amanda is one of the most respected and liked girls in the community.

So now all the moron has done, is 1, made him self look like an even bigger idiot. And two. Pissed off my step bro, and all of our friends..... I called the police on him. Told him he was harrassing her, (and he has been in my mind) soliciting a minor, and admitting to drugs while on probation, been seen with drugs on probation, and disterbing the peace. Not to mention defimation of charachter!

I'm waiting for the sheriffs office to call me back. They said they're looking for him, and when they find him. Judge Dunkin will handle him!!! Dunkin was my judge when I went through my "case". He put that guy through utter hell! SO I'm sure he'll do the same for moron.

 

Well, that is great news Sam. IM sure your sister will come out of all this a stronger more confident woman. Someday she will look back on this guy in total disgust and wonder what on earth was she thinking! And she will have you to Thank for saving her a load of heartache.
I never had the chance to really date I started dating my husband when I was 15 and we were married when I was 17 and now 13 years of marriage later I still sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have had other boyfriends because I missed out on that. But then when I hear horror stories from my friends and stories like your sisters IM sometimes thankful I never had the chance to experience all the heartache that seems to come with dating.
IM glad everything is working out for your sister Congratulations on being such a wonderful sister and positive role model.

 

Thanks. I'm definately no angel. But my sister had better be!!!! LOL

I'm the same way. I've been raped, and beaten up. I actually met Granvel when a guy was trying to hurt me. He pretty much saved me. I was 15 and fell headover heels for him.

I was a freshman, he was a senior and another senior was really being bad to me. If he hadn't have come along. That would have been 2 times I was taken advantage of. We've been together for 6 years now. I've never really thoguht about it. I guess because I'm happy where I am now and he's what I want. I know I want alot more of the material things, but as for satisfaction in a relationship, I'm there.

I want my sister to have the same thing. She's had way more boyfriends in one year than I've had in my life!!! Don't get me wrong. I've dated, but not like I am now.