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Some funny women things

Discussion in 'General Topics & Support Issues' started by Chessmind, Jan 14, 2006.

  1. Chessmind

    Chessmind New Member

    My wife's friend e-mail this to her and she then e-mailed it to me. :lol:

    Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women
    > Pregnancy Q & A & more!
    >
    > Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    > A: No, 35 children is enough.
    >
    > Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my
    > baby move?
    > A: With any luck, right after he finishes
    > college.
    >
    > Q: What is the most reliable method to
    > determine a baby's sex?
    > A: Childbirth.
    >
    > Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so
    > moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
    > A: So what's your question?
    >
    > Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain
    > I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
    > A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might
    > be called an air current.
    >
    > Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    > A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
    >
    > Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the
    > delivery room while my wife is in labor?
    > A: Not unless the word "alimony" means
    > anything to you.
    >
    > Q: Is there anything I should avoid while
    > recovering from childbirth?
    > A: Yes, pregnancy.
    >
    > Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    > A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very
    > quickly.
    >
    > Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my
    > wife begin to feel and act normal again?
    > A: When the kids are in college.
    >
    > "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
    > 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
    >
    > 1. Everyone around you has an attitude
    > problem.
    > 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your
    > cheese omelet.
    > 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of
    > your jeans.
    > 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to
    > everything you say.
    > 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up
    > every bumper sticker that says: "How's my
    > driving-call 1- 800-".
    > 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to
    > batting practice.
    > 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here
    > from "outer space".
    > 8 You can't believe they don't make a tampon
    > bigger than Super Plus.
    > 9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to
    > drive you crazy.
    > 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you
    > bought it yesterday..
    >
    > TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
    > 10. Cats' facial expressions.
    > 9. The need for the same style of shoes in
    > different colors.
    > 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
    > 7. Fat clothes.
    > 6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat
    > your best time.
    > 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream,
    > off-white, and eggshell.
    > 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
    > 3. Eyelash curlers.
    > 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever
    > made.
    >
    > AND, the Number One thing only women
    > understand:
    >
    > 1. OTHER WOMEN
     
  2. halaroo

    halaroo New Member

    > TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
    > 10. Cats' facial expressions.

    LOL. I can totally read what my cats are feeling. My husband thinks I'm insane. :lol:
     
  3. charmedagain

    charmedagain New Member

    HAHAHAHAHAHA They are good.

    I always try and stay out of the way when a female member of my family is pregnant, No offence to all you women out there but why do you all get so moody and everything us men say or do is totally wrong and your always right lol

    Mike
     
  4. vene

    vene New Member

    Lol. Are you expecting again Chessmind?
     
  5. Chessmind

    Chessmind New Member

    Vene...ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh.
     
  6. vene

    vene New Member

    :mrgreen: Many congrats! When is the new baby due?
     
  7. halaroo

    halaroo New Member

    Wow! Congratulations Chessmind! :m12:
     
  8. Bente

    Bente New Member

    Congratulations Chessmind! :D Funny post btw :mrgreen:
     
  9. Chessmind

    Chessmind New Member

    Thanks everyone. It was quite a surprise to say the least! For those of you that do not know, my wife and I have a beautiful little girl who is just about four months old. Well, my wife was on the pill and never missed a day, but she still got pregnant. :shock: We are happy, but I know my wife wanted more time for her body to recuperate. Anyway her first OB appt. is on the 25th, so we will have more news then as to how our new baby is doing.

    So, I won't name names, but how are the other pregnant moms doing here at Auspet? :wink:
     
  10. coppersmom

    coppersmom New Member

    :eek: Congratulations!!
     
  11. halaroo

    halaroo New Member

    I'm doing really well. 30 weeks now.... We just came back from our midwife and she said the baby's head is now down and everything looks good. The only thing that bothers me is trying to zip up my winter boots!
     
  12. charmedagain

    charmedagain New Member

    Congratulations to chessmind and your wife. and halaroo.

    I love babies but i wouldnt want one of my own.
    Mind saying that i have always got all the pregnancy symptoms for my sisters and my mum i used to think there was something wrong with me but dr says because i am so close to them i get sympathy pains and stuff which i dont mind but when you get cravings and labour pains its awful if you ask me lol

    Well anyway again congratulations :eek: :eek: :eek: :y_the_best: :y_the_best:
     
  13. Chessmind

    Chessmind New Member

    Thanks Coppersmom.

    I'm glad you are doing well Halaroo. Yes, my wife also looked forward to simple things such as being able to tie her shoe laces, pick things off the floor, sleep on her stomach, and sleep longer periods without having to get up every hour to pee (9th month). I wish you continued good health to you and your baby. Having a baby is just the most wonderful thing imaginable. I couldn't imagine my life without my beautiful little girl. :mrgreen:
     
  14. Chessmind

    Chessmind New Member

    Thanks Charmedagain. :D
     
  15. Chessmind

    Chessmind New Member

    Quick update. We went to the OB doctor today. Looks like my wife is about 8 weeks pregnant. Had an ultra sound done. Our tiny baby seems healthy and everything looks good.

    After my wife delivered Kira on 9/2005 she weighed 137. She started Weight Watchers in December and is now 122 pounds. She was hoping her OB doctor would let her lose just a few more pounds before she started gaining in the 2nd and 3rd trimester (that way she would have less baby weight to try and lose after). He said no and that she needs to eat 2100 calories per day. He said it's very important for the baby's health. So now instead of having 20 weight watcher points per day she needs to eat 37 points. :D
     
  16. coppersmom

    coppersmom New Member

    :eek: Yea! That's great!! Glad everything's going well.

    Two in diapers plus formula?? :shock: Whooo! If you charge as much as my dentist, well...shouldn't be a problem lol.
     
  17. vene

    vene New Member

    Halaroo- Not too much longer now! Hang in there! BTW, we want tons of pics of the newborn!
    Chessmind- Good to hear that everything is going well! :y_the_best:
    Charmedagain- Lol. Are you single? You may change your mind if you get married. :mrgreen:
    Coppersmom- Ha ha. That's nothing. Wait til the kids are teenagers. They will eat Chessmind and his wife out of their house and home. :lol:
     
  18. Chessmind

    Chessmind New Member

    LOL Coppersmom and Vene. :lol:
     
  19. i_love_my_ollie

    i_love_my_ollie New Member

    cograts chessmind!! i work with children so I'm lucky to get the insight of them and can give them bk to get a good nites sleep!!lol!! i think all young ppl that want children at silly ages (IE in the UK 13yrs old) should work with me for a while that would teach them that although kid r great they r also hard work. I'm 23 and don't want ne of my own yet!!
     
  20. Chessmind

    Chessmind New Member

    Thanks i_love_my_ollie. I agree. People should wait if possible before having kids. Have fun, travel the world, go to college (if this is an option). Then when you're ready to settle down, work on that. :D
     

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